We all know that hooking up with a Thai prostitute for any sort of serious long-term relationship is a mug’s game, but you can take it from me that it is unbelievably easy to end up in a relationship of this sort even if you hadn’t planned it.
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For expats in Thailand the single life tends to lose its appeal after a while, and endless nights of drinking and partying pose a serious threat to your long-term health, not to mention your finances.
If you are retired in Thailand then, at some point, you’re going to need to learn how to live a normal life there rather than trying to maintain a constant holiday experience. When this point comes, it’s all too easy to move into a semi-serious relationship with a lady whom you had previously paid by the hour…
Of course, there are plenty of other geniuses who have jumped straight into a serious relationship with a bar-girl off the back of a first-time visit to the land of smiles. Don’t mock them too much, this too is very easily done if you are unaccustomed to the total conviction with which these ladies can lie convincingly!
In the story below, an expat in Thailand tells the story of his lifelong friend, and his disastrous relationship with a Thai prostitute of the very worst kind. I should point out that most working girls are not typical of the lady in this story, but that doesn’t mean that it is especially unusual either.
On my page about Thai Hooker Prices & Dangers I’ve given advice that is more general and focused on the more typical sorts of risks involved, this page is more of an extreme sort of example, but I think it is worth reading and learning from.
By Shane (from Hua Hin)
Okay, before I get going I just want to stress the fact that Johann (not his real name) and I met each other in 1986 while doing our National Service in South Africa, but the lifelong bond between us was born in 1987 while the two of us worked side by side clearing landmines in the Angolan bush.
For a lot of years the two of us were literally joined at the hip. Not a day went by where we were not together. We were so close that some of our friends even suspected us of being gay!
Haha, the closest we came to being gay was on the one or two occasions when we were drunk and having some same-room sex with prostitutes. Anyway, our crazy hooker days came to an end when we both ended up getting married and having kids.
Johann shacked up with a bar-girl on Koh Samui.
He initially picked her up because I guess he was horny, but also because his heart was way too soft. She was about 37 years old and was blind in one eye. Koh Samui hookers aged over 30, with facial defects, are at a huge disadvantage when looking for customers in the bars.
Regardless of that, Johann and ‘Fa’ (not her real name) seemed to hit it off and they were soon shacked up together, although the two of them never legally got married.
Fa soon became pregnant and Johann bought a small house in her name just a short distance from Hat Yai on the mainland. Foreigners cannot own land in Thailand but Johann was not concerned because he was earning excellent money and the house only cost a few thousand pounds sterling.
Their daughter was born and the two were over the moon. He went on to buy several rubber farms as well, all in her name of course. He never wanted any of the profits, saying that the money could go to her family.
Three years after their first daughter was born they had a second daughter, and the amazing thing is that his daughters are now friends with my own daughters. Anyway, just over five years ago he decided to buy a bigger house… one like a Hollywood mansion standing on a vast area of land.
Even on the money he was earning, it took him five years to pay it off. By this time he and Fa had new cars and every luxury you can think of with everything in her name – I needn’t tell you how inadvisable this is with a former Thai prostitute…
Both his girls started attending expensive international schools, and Johann paid for Fa's first kid from a previous marriage to attend the same school as well. Nobody in her family lacked anything.
Because of the property being so huge and because he never wanted Fa to have to work, he employed her brother and her brother’s wife full-time, paying both of them well over the going rate for unskilled workers.
They also had their own private accommodation on the property and everything was provided free of charge. Even groceries were provided. They were allowed to just help themselves. Hell, Johann even paid for their petrol and toiletries.
I’m giving you this detail so that you understand the depth of just how much Johann had done to improve the lives of his adopted family, we are not talking about some drunk freeloading foreigner taking advantage of Thailand’s hospitality, Johann was a star.
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Johann was a hard worker. When he worked he worked hard and when he played he played hard. Thais generally find it very hard to work to a clock, and Johann's brother-in-law was no exception.
At this point I should add that a few years had passed where Johann and I never saw each other so, when we were reunited about two years ago it was a very special moment for both of us. It was as if we had never been separated, and we once again started seeing each other all the time.
On our first reunion Johann, Fa and his mom came to my home but after the first night he suggested we book into a hotel in the center of town along with my two oldest daughters.
The women and kids had their room while he and I had our room.
Once the kids were asleep the four of us did some serious drinking and Johann and Fa started arguing. This would prove to be one of many arguments I would witness. Later Johann fell asleep and Fa, who was crying, went to her room along with Johann's mom.
I minded my business and sat this episode out on the room’s ground-floor balcony. About half an hour passed and I could hear someone sobbing nearby, so I climbed over the railings and found Fa sitting a few meters away. I went over to her to try and comfort her because Johann had, in all honesty, said a few nasty things – things relating to Thai prostitutes...
Anyway, she soon calmed down and the two of us sat and had a few more drinks next to the pool. By this time I was seriously drunk and I decided to have a swim. I still had my swimming trunks on so in I went. All the lights were off but soon I could see Fa entering the pool on the opposite end. What I never saw though, was that she had removed her costume.
Now, I have nothing against nudity but she was my best mate's wife.
At first she gave me no reason to be suspicious, bearing in mind that we were both really drunk. Slowly but surely she started pushing the boundaries. Despite her age and the fact that she had had three kids, she still had an amazing body and really awesome breasts which she was using to her advantage.
Soon, her actions became bolder. We were at the side of the pool in the deep end having a drink when I felt her sort of wrap one of her legs around one of mine, and then I felt her press her crotch against me.
At first it was just straight forward contact, but soon this was replaced with a rubbing motion. I'm a guy, and she was quite literally sending shock-waves through my body. She grabbed my crotch next and then I felt her slipping her hand inside my trunks.
I had become seriously aroused by now so when she started to remove my trunks I never resisted (sorry Johann). My trunks were off and she was clearly enjoying having this sort of control over me. After playing with me for a few minutes she wrapped both legs around me and lowered herself onto me. Sorry again Johann.
Whilst I still feel terrible about allowing things to go so far, I can at least say that everything ended within seconds. I just could not bring myself to carry on and go all the way.
I didn't know whether I should tell Johann or not. After all, he had kids that loved their mother. I was also afraid for our friendship. Fa tried to get me a few more times in the days that followed but I resisted.
Some weeks after the trip my daughters and I later visited Johann at his place, she made advances on me again but this time I was determined not to cave in. What really bothered me the most at this time was the very apparent friction between Fa's brother and Johann.
I even said to Johann that he needs to back off a bit or else simply employ someone else. I warned him about the fact that Thais don't like losing face even if they are in the wrong, and the fact that life is cheap in Thailand.
We saw each other many times after that and we stayed in touch daily via Line. Then one day about six or seven months ago he told me that he and Fa's brother had had a major argument which resulted in a few punches being thrown.
I had also discovered that he and Fa still weren't getting along.
Fa had developed a serious drinking problem and had moved out to stay with some ladyboy friends in Bangkok. Following the fight where punches were thrown, Fa's brother and his wife also moved out but later came and asked if they could still work for Johann. He agreed, and again I warned him.
A couple of months later he told me Fa had moved back in and that things were looking up. I was glad, but when my daughters and I went and spent 10 days there I saw a very different picture. The two of them were barely speaking to each other and Fa had become visibly cold. She did nothing other than eat, sleep and drink.
After that visit I became seriously concerned when I couldn't get hold of Johann, but then I got a message via Line saying it was because he had been seriously ill. We chatted and he said he had no idea what caused it. In a joking sort of way I said that maybe Fa and her brother had tried to poison him. He shrugged it off saying that they had tried to get him to go see a doctor.
For the next three days we chatted daily and he was back to being his old crazy self and then, suddenly, no contact at all.
I’ll never forget the day that I got a Line message from my sister back in South Africa:
"Shane, please get in touch urgently. It's about Johann, he's been murdered."
My immediate thought was a hope that Fa and her brother had been arrested. There was no doubt in my mind that they were behind it.
Johann had been seriously ill again. On his first day on his feet he was standing in his kitchen preparing dinner for his kids for when they returned home from school. A hired killer entered the house and shot him twice and stabbed him once. He was shot once in the eye and once in the chest. He was then stabbed through the heart.
His wife only managed to play the “distressed wife role” for about a week before being arrested. The Thai police have seen similar cases so many times, and from the minute they arrived at the scene and they saw the house they would have suspected the Thai family.
In Thailand, always make sure that you are worth more alive than dead.
Fa paid 250,000 Thai baht to have Johann killed, and yes, it was his own money that paid for his murder. Many Koh Samui prostitutes are known to associate with some very dangerous individuals. Whether the police knew of her past or not is uncertain, but highly likely.
My heart really feels for his kids. First they come home and discover their dad has been killed, and then a week later they find out it was mom who was behind it. No words can even begin to describe the hatred I feel for Fa, and to make matters worse, all Johann's wealth might still end up with the woman who killed him.
Fa's brother was also in on it and along with Fa he too was sent to prison, along with the actual shooter. I actually still cannot believe that I'll never see Johann again after all we went through together.
Rest in peace brother; burn in hell Fa.
The typical Thai prostitute is not capable of these extremes. I’m sure many guys have fallen for such girls and have gone on to have happy long lasting relationships but Johann's story is not unique. There are lots of stories with tragic endings like his, and does anyone doubt that there’ll be more?
I do agree that there are a lot of extremely tragic stories that come to an untimely end in Thailand, and it very often involves a woman from the wrong side of the tracks. In most cases the end doesn’t come from being murdered, it seems more often that a guy chooses to end it all once his supposed sweetheart walks out, usually immediately after his money runs out!
Pattaya seems to be the favorite choice for skydivers, Koh Samui and the surrounding islands seem to be the most notorious for killings.
Like Shane mentioned, it's better to be worth more alive than dead, and the western guys in Koh Samui and other south Thailand destinations tend to be more cashed up. Westerners in Pattaya are more typically baht-stretchers, so there’s little chance of inheriting a fortune after the demise of westerner there.
Regardless of the particulars, any Thai prostitute is a poor choice for a long-term relationship, and it pays to have plans about meeting regular Thai ladies if you are looking to settle down in Thailand. If this applies to you, do yourself a big favor and get hold of my Thai Dating Mega-Book because it will help you find someone suitable.
On my page about Thai gold-diggers I've mentioned a few of the warning signs to look out for with regard to untrustworthy ladies, and the reason why I’ve done that is because it’s actually very easy to get snared.
On the whole, getting serious with anyone who you meet in the tourist areas is a really bad idea due to the risk of meeting someone who just wants your cash, so do your best to avoid it at all costs.
You wouldn't get seriously involved with a lady-of-the-night back home and it really isn't all that different in Pattaya. On the other hand, enjoying a little holiday romance can be a lot of fun...
Whilst I have managed to escape the clutches of any really bad girls, I do admit that in my early days in Thailand I got involved with bar-girl.
When it comes to a Thai prostitute, you will be doing really well if you can learn from the mistakes of others, but that's not an easy tick to pull. The majority of us just convince ourselves that 'my girl' is different... until she isn't!
Don't go thinking that the less physically attractive girls are any more trustworthy than the stunners. I've never detected any link in Thailand between a woman's beauty and her trustworthiness. If she works in a bar, there's something like a 99% chance that she is completely untrustworthy regardless of what she looks like.
My own learning experience came a good few years ago during my early 20's. I was as green and naive about the whole industry as it is possible to be... I knew nothing at that time.
The girl who worked her magic on me hadn’t spoken more than 20 words to me before her first lie came out. She lied that she was 21 years old when she was actually only 18. A friend of mine who was already a Pattaya veteran had her cards marked within a few minutes, and he warned me not to believe anything she said.
The signs were there right from the word go, and I duly ignored them!
Firstly, she was quite a confident outgoing sort of girl. Nothing like the quiet, shy, and reserved sort of character that most good girls in Thailand have.
Second, she liked a drink and a smoke. She had no concerns over what she was drinking or the cost to me either... Tequila was her favourite, and lots of it. With regard to smoking, she didn't like cigarettes but she was a big fan of shisha (this was back before shisha was banned).
I remember asking her to open a bottle of beer for me on one occasion, thinking she would head off to find a bottle opener. No need, she just leant it against a stone wall and hit the top with the palm of her hand. I mean, despite her tender age this girl had obviously spent some time around the bars.
Third, she really enjoyed the nightlife. She liked bars and discotheques. This one is not that much of a red-flag, but the kind of discos that the good girls usually like to go to are not popular with Westerners, they usually pull in other Thais, and they play Thai music.
Fourth, she had a tattoo on her back. No way would a good Thai girl wear such a thing. Regular Thais regard them as 'tramp stamps'.
Try not to let a Thai girl get away with an obvious and unnecessary lie. You don't need to show them to be liars (that would be equally bad as it would cause a loss of face), but you do need to show them that you are no fool, and that you won't tolerate any disrespect.
The biggest lie she told me, after 2-weeks together, was that she was completely in love with me... I was amazed at the time at how effortlessly she was able to turn on the water-works and cry like a baby at the mere thought of my departure.
That's quite a talent really, and lots of these vixens have mastered it.
I won’t bore you with the details, and nothing remotely as sinister as the story above about poor Johann happened, but let’s just say that a long-distance relationship with a Thai prostitute is definitely NOT a good idea in the vast majority of cases.
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