Thai girls have got a bad reputation when it comes to their romantic liaisons with western guys. I doubt that I’ll make many front-page ‘breaking news’ columns by pointing that out... because there have been a lot of failed romances, but a lot of the bad press is unfair.
There is not nearly enough publicity into the detail of how these relationships start, how they develop, or how they unravel.
I’m not denying that there are a lot of unscrupulous gold-diggers in Thailand that prey on unsuspecting, decent, western guys, and I have no interest in defending the behavior of the worst sorts of women in Thailand, but I am interested in sidestepping them in favor of the regular beauties that this part of the world is full of.
Don’t misunderstand me, as you’ll read below I have no moral problem with bar-girls and short-term holiday romances. Many of the girls in the tourist area bars are quite lovely, but most of them are totally unsuitable for any sort of permanent relationship.
As far as serious girls in Thailand are concerned, the dating success stories with western men get very little publicity, and many people behave as though there is no such thing as an honest, decent Thai girl who is worthy of your trust.
This is nonsense of course!
The main problem with dating Thais is not that they are all no good, it’s that they all come from a very different culture that is not easy to understand or acclimate to.
My focus on this site is all about providing you, dear reader, with the best advice on the net about how to find the best Thai girls for your own needs:
I’ll be upfront and tell you right now that, in most cases, the online dating sites are going to offer you the best opportunities for getting what you want. If you are actually in Thailand then you can do even better by just approaching girls on the street, in shops, whilst waiting for the train, and so on, but I find that most guys dislike the added pressure that these sorts of approaches entail…
You should be aware that I do earn a commission from the Thai dating sites that I recommend, but I don’t recommend the expensive pay-per-message sites. I’ve found that they are usually scam operations and far too expensive.
You should also be aware that there are plenty of gold-diggers online, and that careless use of the sites will put you at risk of falling prey to one of them. That’s kind of the whole point of this site… I’m going to give you the knowledge and understanding that’s necessary to make sure that you don’t fall victim.
Don’t underestimate the risks, the horror stories that you may have heard, and the preconceptions towards Thai girls that you may harbor, have probably all come from guys that have made some seriously bad choices regarding their romantic partners.
The risks are real though, there’s some really good liars out there and they need to be. When someone from a poor background depends on the money that she makes from the lies that she tells, you can bet that she’s good at it! Happily, these ladies are a minority and can easily be avoided once you know how.
I’m going to publish lots of true stories - stories that are not written by me but by the western guys who have had romantic relationships with Thai girls. If you want to get an idea of what dating in Thailand is all about then there is no better way than to read the stories of guys who have done it.
In these stories you’ll find the full range of tales, both successes and failures, with all sorts of different ladies. Many of them will be based on experiences with exactly the wrong sort of women, others will be about ladies from the right side of the tracks.
Unfortunately, many men still fall into the bar-girl trap of donating their entire life-savings to a girl half their age, and then starting a new life as a reclusive debt-ridden shadow of their former selves! I'd avoid this if I were you as it's not much fun.
The best route to success with Thai women is by meeting them in the way that you would meet any other girl e.g. friends of friends, or via the workplace. Sadly, that isn’t going to be an option for you if you don't live in Thailand, but the online sites remain a useful backup option.
As a general rule of thumb, it's a lot safer to go looking for romance away from the main tourist areas as the girls there are much less likely to be working as prostitutes! With that said, there are also differences within those areas:
Okay, this is the part where you might expect me to start ripping into western ladies... but I'll only go so far as to criticize a minority of them - albeit a significant minority.
I'm referring to the latest batch of entitled little princesses who think that their nether regions are sacrosanct, and that any man whom they grace with access to it should immediately mimic some sort of emotional support dog for all of their bullshit!
Having 'issues' seems to have become quite fashionable amongst some western ladies, and I don't believe that modern feminism is helping them at all.
Hating men seems to be at the core of that dogmatic garbage, and what sort of man would want to be in a relationship with a woman who subscribes to it? The answer is beta-males and guys who don't realize that there are better options.
Let me reiterate, I'm only referring to a minority of western girls here, most of them are lovely people. Unfortunately though, by a certain age the sensible ladies have usually been snapped up and are happily married. A large proportion of the women that remain come with serious baggage, and unrealistic ideas about their future partners.
The reality is that Hugh Grant and Colin Firth are not going to be punching themselves out to be with these women anytime soon - no matter what Bridget Jones' Diary would have them believe. Regular western men who lack Hollywood superstar sex appeal (not to mention the financial resources) can find much better options for romance in Thailand.
Thai girls are the perfect antidote to western feminist nut-jobs. If you take your time and choose wisely, you'll not only find countless ladies in Thailand who will happily satisfy all of your lustful desires, you'll also find some ultra-sweet and feminine ladies who will appreciate you for what you are.
As mentioned, this site is not just intended to help guys find the good girls for long-term happiness, it’s also a source of information for guys who just want to make the most of their annual vacation, so I’ve written plenty about bar girls…
For the uninitiated, you could be forgiven for thinking that Thai bar girls all have the same agenda and the same modus operandi. They do almost invariably have the same end goal i.e. making money, but they differ by a wide margin in terms of how they go about acquiring that money.
All the usual caveats apply to these generalizations, not everyone is the same and so on, but keep in mind that money and the accumulation of it is nearly always what makes Thai bar girls tick. I’ve given more detail below about how these ladies operate, but the above points are a useful guideline on what to expect, for the time being at least.
Things are changing though…
What was once a fairly unregulated pay-for-play industry is not as it once was. The Thai authorities are cracking down and trying to clean up Thailand’s image. Where once the naughty girls were more or less ignored, these days they are under the spotlight.
Only time will tell what the future holds.
Underage Thai girls are a serious danger to any tourist who thinks that a girl working in a bar must be above the legal age of consent for sex.
You’d be wrong to think that; the police have done a good job of reducing the number of underage girls working in the bars, but there are still some that flagrantly disregard the law and it’s something that you need to be very careful of.
It can sometimes be very difficult to guess the age of Thai ladies, and I personally know a 30 year old Thai girl who looks like a teenager, I also know a 16 year old that looks to be in her early 20’s. At the time of writing, both are currently working as bar-girls.
The 16 year old girl has tattoos, piercings and a full figure... there’s no way that you would imagine her to be as young as she is, and I’ve seen her in the company of more than a few customers who probably don’t realize the danger that such relationships carry. I’m not talking about out and out pedophiles; I’m talking about men who are probably making genuine mistakes when they get involved with underage Thai girls.
For example, if an 18 year English guy where to have a sexual relationship with a 16 year old Thai girl, he might think that this is perfectly okay since the legal age of consent in England is 16.
What he might not realize is that the age of consent in Thailand is not 16, it is 18. If he gets charged by the police for his offense he’s not going to get the soft treatment that you get in the West, he’s probably looking at a hefty fine and 2 to 4 years in prison.
Technically, a charge could be brought even if the age separating them is minuscule (him just over 18 and her just under). I’ve even read about one young man aged 16 who had sex with a Thai girl one year older than himself and ended up being threatened by her Thai parents.
I’m not sure how that one would play out in reality, after all, the 16 year old lad could claim that he was the younger party and that he was the one being taken advantage of!
Whatever the particular circumstances are, it always pays to make sure that you are on the right side of the law in Thailand. All girls of legal age will carry an ID card stating their age and you should make sure that your girl has one if you think that there is even the slightest chance that she might be underage, and don’t forget that underage Thai girls sometimes look a lot older…
Your hotel receptionist will usually ask any lady accompanying you to produce her ID card before she will be allowed to go with you to your room. However, this is not a good enough safeguard. Some girls can talk their way around such problems and end up being allowed in by the receptionist, and some girls carry fake ID cards.
It makes sense to get to know your receptionist and get on their good side. They can be a useful shield against any mistakes when you’ve had a few too many drinks and you aren’t using your best judgment. If they are on friendly terms with you, they’ll happily advise you about any potentially underage Thai girls who you wander in with.
Full intercourse is not necessary for a charge to be brought. I’m told that almost any sexual act counts as sex, so beware of this if you’re thinking that a Bill Clinton style defense will help you out!
There is a lot more cultural variety within Thailand than in most western countries. It’s not just that there is a very significant class structure that separates rich from poor, there are also big differences in the way of life between, for example, rural girls and city girls.
Depending on your preferences you’ll want to learn as much as you can about these things and for that I again advise you to subscribe and download my Mega-Book. For a flavor of the things discussed in my book, the Thai Dating Strategy section of the site is well worth a look.
At some point in your journey towards romance with a Thai girl, you are going to need to pick up a solid grasp of the culture and what will be expected from you were you to go the whole nine yards and get married.
If you don’t get a good idea of what married life entails, you’ll constantly be jumping to the wrong conclusions and falling out with your wife. Most of us westerners put far too much trust in the idea that what comes naturally to us as common sense must also be deemed common sense to a Thai – it often isn’t! Have a read of my Thai Wife info to get a heads up on what matters most to her.
Misunderstandings are a major cause of relationship meltdown, your western instincts will be off, and your western sense and sensibilities will be alien. Worse still is that most Thais know far less about western culture and values than we know about Thai culture and values...
When you find yourself baffled by your Thai girlfriend’s seemingly insane behavior, it pays to remind yourself that what you are witnessing probably stems from a cultural misunderstanding. It also pays to bear in mind that most Thai girls will likely think that some of your behavior is downright odd… such is the nature of cross culture relationships.
The horror stories about relationships between Thais and westerners are no joke but, like I said already, they usually stem from really bad beginnings.
There are massive differences between the girls here and the girls back home in the west. I've only lightly touched on this but you should be in no doubt that you will be much more appreciated for being a masculine male in Thailand.
The term 'toxic masculinity' is something you need never hear of again...
There are no doubt some things I’ve written that other experienced travelers will disagree with, and I'd encourage anyone to write in if there’s something you want to say. I'm not sitting in my ivory tower here handing down unalterable truths written in stone about Thai girls.
I'm happy to publish your thoughts, stories, and opinions if they are well-written and are of sufficient depth (1,000 words or more). If that idea appeals, you can reach me via the contact link at the bottom of the page.
Next up, I want to say a few words about the morality of the prostitution industry… at least as I see it.
Questions about prostitution in Thailand, as regards the morality of engaging in it or not, are impossible to answer conclusively regardless of circumstances... but that has never stopped anyone from forcing their subjective opinions on the world before.
I’m not going to make the same mistake, I’m not going to try and steer you one way or another, because it's for you to decide. I will, however, to try to clear up some of the common fallacies surrounding the whole thing. Okay, before continuing lets deal with the legality question first.
Hold on to your hats... prostitution in Thailand may be about as common as spicy food but, technically speaking, it is against the law!
I think it fair to say that, at the current time, this particular law is not exactly being strictly enforced under a zero tolerance policy, but for how long that remains the case is anyone’s guess. If the current direction of travel with regard to the law is anything to go by then the recent crackdowns on certain naughty bars in Bangkok and Pattaya may herald a very different sort of future.
I think that so long as men are interested in sex, and women are prepared to provide it for financial gain, then there will always be a pay for pleasure industry. I hope that Thailand does not intend to go too far and drive this sort of activity underground, because that has never been in anyone's interest.
Diverging opinions as to the moral and ethical questions that arise from the Thailand prostitution industry, and especially the participation of westerners in that industry, are frequently levied by people with an agenda... or an axe to grind.
One of the most common arguments employed against western participants is that they are acting in an immoral manner by using their financial means to exploit the local bar girls and escorts in a land where people are not so economically fortunate.
Personally I don’t see why anyone should regard the geographic origins of the men that participate in the Thai prostitution scene as having any relevance at all.
If the objection is one of differing financial fortunes then what about poor westerners who save up their spare cash all year for a single annual vacation – should they be excused from this objection... and what about wealthy Thai nationals who participate – should they be excused due to their nationality?
Related to the exploitation argument is the mistaken sentiment that the girls involved have realistic other options. Thailand is getting more and more developed, but it is still a poor country by western standards.
Figures from 2017 (the most recent available) show a GDP per capita (average income per person) of less than $6,600. To put that into perspective, the USA enjoys over $59,500 GDP per capita. In the poorest rural areas where many sex-workers originate from, many people work for as little as $10 per day and that doesn’t go far when you’ve got a family to support.
It is true that the cost of living is much lower in Thailand, so $10 goes a lot further, but there is still a very large gap in the overall standard of living between Thailand and the developed world when it comes to financial matters. The girls who enter this industry often do so because it is the only way to raise the necessary cash in order to be able to provide for their parents, siblings or children.
There’s little free healthcare, no state retirement fund, and these girls often have no realistic alternative way of earning a comparable income. In other words, if the Thailand prostitution industry is a bad option for the girls working in it, it may well be that the alternative is worse.
I've had simpletons criticize me on this point, with the argument that I wouldn't want members of my own family working as prostitutes, of course I wouldn't, but that misses the point. I also wouldn't want my own family members to be suffering such hardship that this sort of work is the only realistic way out!
I have noticed a common factor amongst the naysayers when it comes to participating in the Thai prostitution scene – they all exhibit an irresistible compulsion to attach western, Christian values to it.
When you’ve lived your life in a western culture there is no escaping the influence of Christian values, even if your views are secular (non-religious).
These values underlie much of our instinctive feelings towards every day matters e.g. attitudes towards monogamy and the guilt that is attached to promiscuity. It has even verged on the ridiculous... people in some countries are still told that contraception is sinful!
This sort of nonsense demonstrates the prudish mentality that runs throughout the west; it’s almost as though the act of sex is a dirty thing that we should be ashamed of. When you step outside of western culture and head to Thailand, you find that people don’t have the same sort of hang-ups about sex, and that includes the pay-for-pleasure scene.
I’m not saying that the Thailand prostitution industry is regarded as being a respectable career choice for young women, it isn’t, but it has nothing to do with the exchange of cash.
The extent of the Thai sex industry and its facility with western men is particularly grating for some people due to their moral objection to the purchasing of flesh. In their eyes this is simply wrong on any level, but in Thailand this sort of thinking simply doesn’t exist.
Paying for sex is not looked down on for its own sake; the reason why prostitutes in Thailand are seen in an unfavorable light is because it runs counter to the Thai perception of what decent women are. A good woman in Thai culture is deemed to be someone that is very reserved, shy and pure.
It’s the over-familiarity of prostitutes and the way that they solicit themselves in order to get customers that causes disgust. Sex workers are seen as being the antithesis of what a good, decent, virtuous woman should be.
Now, I've no doubt that the gender-neutral left-wing morons in the west who argue that everything is a social construct (even gender!) will have plenty to say about the woes of attaching roles to what women should be and how 'toxic masculinity' and the 'patriarchy' are to blame for it all...
My suggestion to these fools is to at least try to cast an objective eye at the Thai people, and then ask themselves who are the happier - your average Thai girl or your average 'liberated' western girl?
In a nutshell, if you feel that it is wrong to exchange cash for sex, then don’t do it, but accept that your feelings are not universally shared and that they certainly aren’t shared by the girls working in the Thai prostitution industry.
Don't misunderstand me, I'm not stating that Thai people have an anything goes attitude towards sex, regular people are usually very conservative in their views, but the exchange of cash for sex is not reviled in quite the way it sometimes is in the west.
The last objection to the whole pay-for-pleasure scene is, in my opinion, the most difficult to dismiss. There’s no doubt that many of the women who enter into this sort of work do so with a naïve idea about quickly meeting a rich benefactor that will marry them and provide financial security for their family.
This dream only comes true for a very small number of sex-workers.
It’s unclear whether or not the low self-esteem and psychological issues that afflict some of the girls are due to spending a lengthy period of time working in the prostitution industry or whether those issues were there to begin with. Much of a person’s feeling of self-worth is developed in childhood; sex-work might be the symptom rather than the cause of poor mental health.
I would encourage anyone that is considering a liaison with a working-girl to consider whether or not the lady seems to be of a healthy mental disposition. If you get the impression that something is not quite right then perhaps it would be best to look elsewhere.
Whatever you do, don’t get emotionally attached, you’ll only end up making a series of empty promises of a new life together, and that can genuinely cause heartbreak. Even worse, if your promises are genuine and you do follow up, marriages that have their roots in the pay for play circuit are not known for their long-term success rates!
I started the page with some warnings about the pitfalls of getting involved with bar girls, but I want to add some extra detail because it is such a common honey-trap that men fall into.
I can't stress this strongly enough… if you meet ladies in the bars of Pattaya or somewhere similar then you need to regard everything that you hear from them as being a little less than 100% accurate, or just completely untrue.
Lies will flow from their lips without restraint or hesitation and they'll look you in your eyes whilst they are telling them… and they won't flinch.
This, however, fails utterly to convey the extent to which these lies are frequently swallowed up by western men. We are talking here about a time honored, truly sublime, lying expertise with which these sorts of Thai girls can seemingly effortlessly work their magic and turn an otherwise sensible middle-aged man into an adoring boyfriend or husband.
A few perfectly happy relationships have been formed between Westerners and Thai bar girls but, in a way, that is part of the problem. If you start to get emotionally attached to a lady your better judgment will get pushed aside because you’ll know that, however rare they are, successes do sometimes happen.
There really is no way of knowing when these sort of Thai girls are being genuine and when they are not, unless you catch one red-handed in a lie, and it’s a problem that has caused untold grief to many an unsuspecting westerner. Dishonesty can sometimes take years of marriage to uncover itself, by which time the trusting westerner can have his entire life destroyed once he learns the truth.
There’s even an exclusive club in Thailand called the 'Pattaya flying club'. The flying club has nothing to do with aviation, but quite a lot to do with sky-diving off high-rise balconies to a quick, sharp, and sudden transition into the afterlife…
Such things really do happen and with alarming frequency once the truth comes out. The blame that can be apportioned to the women in these cases varies by a wide margin, but some have even been directly involved in disposing of their husbands!
In the vast majority of cases, long-term relationships with Thai bar girls don't turn out well. Fortunes are lost, family and friends are left behind, and when things turn out badly there is usually a good slice of humiliation thrown into the mix.
These ladies are not all the same in their methods, as I’ll explain later on, and some are not interested in forming long-term relationships at all. Others are primarily hoping to find a long-term wealthy benefactor or two.
It’s actually quite common for some girls to be involved with several western benefactors at any one time, with each of them completely unaware of the others, and each of them sending various amounts of support money to their girl each month from their home countries… and all this whilst their bar girl sweetheart is secretly supporting a Thai boyfriend or husband!
If you are in a typical tourist area beer bar and you look like you are enjoying yourself, you will be considered to be good company by bar girls and:
On a positive note, bar girls can be the stuff of dreams if you just need a temporary escape from the west, to let your hair down and date beautiful, slim, younger ladies by the bucket-load.
These girls are not necessarily bad people, they are more usually just normal people who are in a bad situation, for one reason or another. They frequently have serious family problems that can only be solved by larger amounts of money than they are likely to earn in formal employment, and so they turn to prostitution.
That at least is how it usually starts, but once it starts the girls often continue in the industry long after and immediate family crisis has been solved.
As I mentioned earlier, different types of Thai bar girls have different methods of parting you from your cash, so here is my lowdown on the main types and what you should expect from them.
The standard beer bar girl is the most dangerous in terms of winning you over in the long-game. If you end up falling in love, my guess is that it will be with one of these ladies.
The reason is usually because these girls are often very attentive to their man’s needs in a way that is not common in the West. Things like cleaning, and tidying up your mess, are typical. Folding away your clothes, drying you down with a towel after you step out the shower, making the bed… even putting toothpaste on your toothbrush for you, is not unheard of.
If you ask a beer bar girl where she would like to go, she will normally reply softly in broken English “I go where you go”. It’s all very endearing and quite easy to fall for.
At the end of your vacation, there may well be some real attachment between the two of you. You will have shared plenty of good times together and the thought of separating might not be a happy one. In fact, leaving Thailand at all might seem like a terrible idea!
When the departure date arrives, your girl will almost certainly want to accompany you to the airport and I’ll bet that there will be tears in her eyes when you say your final farewell... this is not at all unusual for these girls.
If you made the mistake of exchanging phone numbers, you can bet that your phone will soon be ringing after you get back home...
These are typical developments that lead to the sort of tragic relationships that I keep banging on about. In other scenarios, some Westerners have even gone as far as establishing some sort of formal relationship with the girl before they even leave Thailand.
The arrangement usually works out that the girl will give up her bar work and return to her home village to await your return whilst you will send an agreed amount of cash each month so that she doesn’t need to work.
You may also be asked to pay a ‘separation’ fee to her bar if you want her to stop working there immediately. This fee is a con whereby the bar’s manager and the girl herself will each pocket a share of your money.
In reality the girl doesn’t stop working in the bar at all. Even worse, she may well already have similar arrangements with several other western men, none of whom are aware of each other. Believe me, it happens all the time.
In general, Thai gogo girls are a definite class up in terms of overall physical beauty compared to the girls that work in the beer bars. They are usually shapely and slim, and they are usually a bit younger than most Thai girls in the bar scene.
Thai gogo girls are very approachable and they will be happy to accept a drink from you if you want one to come and sit with you. The ensuing conversation usually goes along the lines of “where are you from?”, “how long are you staying?” and “what hotel are you staying at?”
From this the girl will get an idea of how much money you’ve got to spend and how long she has got to convince you to part with it. As with the other girls, you can have a lot of fun with the gogo girls and you certainly get to see what is on offer before you choose which one to approach.
‘Long-time’ (a day or more) arrangements are harder to arrange with Thai gogo girls as they tend to specialize in the ‘short-time’ acquaintances (an hour or so).
Because of the short-time nature of their meetings with men, you don’t normally find that the girls try to convince you that they are suitable for long-term relationships in the way that a beer-bar girl might. It might happen though, so be on your guard.
Whereas it is extremely risky to get involved with a girl you meet in a beer-bar, it is just insane to get involved with a girl from a gogo bar. There’s no way that a Thai man would get serious with a gogo girl (except if she is giving him her cash!), so you shouldn’t get involved either.
These ladies have almost always had a number of years working in the nightlife industry and it is an industry that takes its toll. Don’t fall for any stories about her only working there for this or that reason and that with a small financial contribution from you each month she can stop working and blah blah blah!
For Thai girls that you meet in nightclubs/discos I have two very different recommendations to make:
The ladies that you will find in the Thai focused establishments, i.e. those that do not get foreign visitors, offer a very good opportunity to meet some genuinely lovely potential girlfriends.
The ladies that frequent the discos that tourists go to are just another sort of working-girl and are not suitable for anything serious. Many Thai girls head to these places after the bar at which they work closes for the night.
Thai nightclub girls, the respectable sort, are very different to the kind of girls that you get in clubs back home. You can actually speak to them without them looking at you as if you have just gravely insulted her ancestry.
The ‘untouchable’ attitude that you get from girls back home (even if they are old, ugly and overweight) does not exist in Thailand and you can rest assured that your attention will be much appreciated, even if it is just for a friendly chat and nothing more.
The less respectable ladies are there for financial purposes as you might expect. Unlike the usual 'freelance' working girls i.e. street-workers and so on, I do think that the nightclub girls are a reasonably trustworthy lot as far as personal safety is concerned (I’ll explain what I mean by this below, with regard to street girls).
Many of the nightclub girls are not full-time working girls; it is fairly common to find University students there that need an income top-up. These girls usually work on weekends only… unless they are urgently in need of some extra cash. Many of them don’t even consider themselves to be prostitutes since they don’t solicit their services, but they’ll still expect a cash donation…
As with the other freelance girls, you do not have a return address to go to and register a complaint if things go badly. It won’t do you any good to complain to the nightclub management because the girl will just be another customer as far as they are concerned.
Thai street girls are, to be blunt, usually the oldest and ugliest of the working-girls in Thailand. Technically speaking they are not Thai bar girls, they are freelance girls, but many of them have previous experience with a bar or two.
I’m guessing that you would have absolutely no intention whatsoever of forming any kind of long lasting romantic relationship with these ladies but I thought I’d include some info because there are extra risks attached to these girls that really ought to put you off having any kind of contact with them at all.
There are frequent cases in Pattaya and similar places where one tourist or another has been robbed by a girl working as a freelance street hooker. The victim is often drugged and then wakes up feeling terrible the next day only to find that all of his money and valuables have gone missing.
There was even a case a few years back that hit the Pattaya news headlines where a tourist, German I think, was overdosed on drugs and died. CCTV cameras revealed that he had been accompanied by a lady back to his room the night before. The culprit was eventually found and prosecuted, but there are other opportunist thieves and dangers out there.
If you meet someone that works in a bar, restaurant or shop, you have somewhere to go to trace the girl if you get treated badly. Because of that fact you are far less likely to get treated badly in the first place. I’m not saying that mistreatment from Thai street girls is guaranteed, far from it, but who needs the extra risk?
Another risk relates to the age of some of the freelance girls. Some are young... too young! The last thing that you want to do is end up having relations with an underage girl in Thailand. The safest policy on this one is to make absolutely certain that any Thai girls you approach are well above 18 by choosing those that appear to be in their mid-20’s or older.
The two most important messages to draw from all of this:
Next up I want to show you some typical online profiles of the sort of ladies that you’ll find on the dating sites. I want to talk about identifying which girls are looking for a serious relationship, which girls are basically advertising their services, and what tell-tale signs can give away a trickster posing as a regular girl.
There seems to be a common thread with some of the most the beautiful Thai girls online, and that is that there are a lot of them who attract unwanted attention from men who think that exposing themselves via webcam is the way to impress a lady!
It really is quite an eye-opener to see how many of these online dating profiles have words from the lady stating that she doesn’t want to be contacted by men looking for sex talk and it surprises me that so many men must actually believe that this sort of behavior will be successful... it really isn’t a good idea and it will almost certainly lead to failure if you ever actually intend to meet someone in person!
This profile in particular gave me cause to chuckle to myself as the lady has inserted, in capital letters, a message on her profile that reads “I don’t want to see your penis, don’t show it, it is ugly” So there it is; couldn’t be more clear… no indecent exposure please!
This lady is 30 years old and is seeking a man aged from 30 to 50. She is 158cm tall and weighs 44kg. She is from Bangkok and she is university educated to bachelor’s degree level.
There is a question on her profile asking whether or not she has children and she has declined to answer it. However, the introduction message does make clear that she does not have children, so I’m guessing that she may have gotten a little confused. I’m guessing she might be thinking that it relates to the man she’s looking for and whether or not he has children. Mix-ups like this are common and it’s a good idea to keep that in mind.
Another thing that stands out on this dating profile is that the lady has made it quite clear that she is looking for marriage. She has stated that she has never married before (Thai girls that are unmarried by age 30 are considered to be passed their prime) and, as already mentioned, that she has not got any children.
This sort of profile does pass my initial gold-digger test and I would happily take things to the next stage i.e. conversation via video.
Of course, I would have to resist the urge to display my penis to her if I was serious about progressing things to an actual date, but we all have to make sacrifices in life...
Okay, some Thai girls are not really looking for any serious commitment and are really just interested in finding someone for some fun times. I don't see anything at all wrong with that and I think you can guess from the picture on display here as to what is on offer.
The dating sites have many similar profiles on display.
You still need to be respectful; there is a worrying tendency for some guys on the net to behave without dignity when they see these online ladies.
One thing that stood out for me on this girl’s profile was that she was not interested in meeting Thai men or Turkish men. I can only guess that she has had bad experiences with both in the past.
Turkish men have got something of a reputation for exposing themselves on video links and I'm afraid that this sort of behavior is never going to win any Thai girl's affection (apologies to Turkey, these are just rumors that I've heard - I can't substantiate them and they may be completely unjustified).
She is prepared to meet men of all ages and she herself is 28 years old. I've seen similar profiles to this one many times before and so will you once you’ve scouted around the dating sites for any length of time.
Some profiles openly state that they are looking for short-term friends only, but the lady here states that she is a 'good girl'. There are no written words to suggest that a relationship with this lady might require any kind of financial reward but it is something that you should be prepared for should you approach any girl with such an exposed profile.
I know nothing of this lady personally, but if you were to meet up with anyone with a similar profile, my advice is to steer well clear of any kind of serious romantic commitment because genuine ladies who are looking for serious relationships will certainly use much more modest pictures.
There's one more thing that is worth noting about this lady and that is that she is degree educated and works for herself; in circumstances like these, you might want to enquire as to the exact nature of the work that a girl does as a conversation starter...
Anyone who has a thing for petite Thai girls should be spoiled for choice with the large number of ladies that fit this description.
As is well known Thais are, on average, significantly smaller than your average westerner and the lady in this picture is just 160cm in height; not too short, but definitely petite.
She’s also very light at a meager 43kg.
I have to say that I like this profile and the usual warning bells that ring in my head when I spot something suspicious are quite silent here.
There are a number of things about this profile that you would be well advised to look for in other online profiles whenever possible. Firstly, the lady has set an age range for her target man that is similar to her own; she is 28 and she is looking for a man that is aged 30 to 35. That’s a good sign that she is a genuine girl; a gold-digger would not really care much about the age of her intended man.
On the other hand, some genuine Thai girls have been known to be a little lazy about filling in the details, and some may have just overlooked an age specification.
Secondly, the manner of her dress is perfectly respectable and she is wearing only light make-up. These things are important little indicators that she is a respectable lady.
Third, she states that she is a graduate and that she works in customer service; that seems to ring true to me. By the look of the picture, I’m guessing that it was taken in her workplace.
Finally, the message on her profile states that she is looking for a foreign boyfriend who is romantic, gentle, and who doesn’t lie. I’ve seen endless profiles that state they want a western boyfriend who is ‘generous’ and although generosity (Nam Jai) is very important in Thai culture, it’s a bit early to specify it on an online dating profile.
Thai men are not known for their romantic natures and westerners are perceived as being more romantic, so I can believe that she is being genuine when she asks for a romantic man.
All in all, this is just the sort of profile I’d advise you to look for.
If you like tall Thai girls then you will be happy to know that they do exist. This lady stands at a respectable 170cm; she is 35 years old and she is looking for men aged from 40 to 60. I think that this is a reasonable age group to be interested in.
At 35, many Thai men would regard this lady as being quite old for the dating game, so that might be one reason why she is interested in finding a western boyfriend.
Her profile makes clear that if you are looking for a holiday romance then you should look elsewhere as she is only looking for a serious long-term relationship.
Her online profile states that she has never been in a relationship with a foreigner and I have to say I find that a little surprising. Her dress appears very western and the background of the picture here looks a little like they were taken in a western location.
Thai house interiors don't often resemble this picture and it doesn't look like a hotel room either since there is a pile of DVDs behind the sofa. I'm not suggesting that the lady is being untruthful though; there is any one of a million explanations for this.
Even if the picture was taken in the West, it wouldn't confirm that the lady was in a relationship with a western man there, these are just the sort of suspicions that go through my suspicious mind!
Another possibility is that this is a lady from a high society background. If you were to approach someone online who has a profile similar to this then I think I would base my conversation on her background to get an idea of where she works, what her family does and so on. I wouldn't ask her upfront where the picture was taken but I'd probably skirt around the issue and suggest that it looks like a nice house, her response might reveal all.
One thing that is worth stating is that this lady lives in Bangkok. If you are traveling to Thailand from a distant country then you are best advised to make your dating arrangements in Bangkok. If things don’t work out then you’ll have plenty of other options here as there is a well-developed expat scene.
It’s also a good idea to have more than one date set up with more than one lady, and you won’t want to have those dates arranged at different ends of the country, so Bangkok is the single best location with lots of local girls to meet up with.
The young Thai girls that you will find on the dating sites are often a little more westernized than the slightly older generation and I think that this is likely to be increasingly the case in future.
Bangkok in particular is developing quickly, and is becoming a modern, cosmopolitan city where the local people are more familiar with other cultures.
That said, the girl here lives in Phuket.
She is quite tall by Thai standards, 21 years old, has a job as some sort of consultant, but is only high-school educated (causing me to wonder what sort of consultancy work she does). Her appearance looks respectable to my eyes.
On her profile she sates her favorite music is K-Pop. I hadn't got the foggiest idea what K-Pop was when I read her profile so I looked it up on Google... apparently it is short for Korean Popular music no less. It can't be any harder on the ears than Thai Popular music, so that might not be a bad thing!
Unusually amongst younger Thai girls, she states that her English is not very good but that her German is much better. So, all in all we have a young lady from Thailand who is interested in Korean music and that speaks good German. It's a curious and unusual combination and I'd be fascinated to know how she came by these skills and interests.
My guess is that this lady has had previous experience of romance with a foreign man and I'd certainly want to ask her all about that if I were involved with her. I don't mean any of this in a bad way, I'm just genuinely curious.
Visually, this lady appears to have fair skin, which would make her quite desirable to Thai men, but she has chosen to seek romance with a foreigner. If I were a young man with German language skills I think I would be tempted to try and strike up a conversation with this young lady.
My advice is to take everyone as the individual that they are and not to jump to conclusions prematurely. At the same time, I recognize that there are substantial cross-cultural challenges to overcome to make a success of a long-term Thai/western romance, and adding the inexperience and temptations of youth to the mix is likely to make things harder.
Small Thai girls are, as mentioned on a previous profile, quite common in the land of smiles and there are lots of them looking for romance with westerners on dating sites.
This particular lady is 28 years old and she is interested in men aged from 25 to 36. She lives in Bangkok and is educated to Bachelor’s degree level. This lady is a mere 157cm tall and weighs 47kg.
As you will see from the picture, she is an attractive girl and well presented in terms of dress. True to form my suspicious mind has a little alarm bell ringing telling me that she is a little too well presented and that the dress she is wearing is a little too short for a conservative country like Thailand.
It is, of course, a perfectly inoffensive dress by western standards but I can imagine that there would be plenty of nods and glances from local Thai people if she were to be seen walking with you through any traditional areas of Thailand wearing a short dress like that, with high-heel shoes.
She may, of course, be a lovely and genuine paragon of virtue despite what local Thai sense and sensibilities would suggest, but it does pay to be cautious in these matters.
There are a couple of notes on her profile that make interesting reading. The first thing that is stated on her profile is that she wants to learn English. This is quite common and nothing to be surprised about but there are some ladies that are simply looking for a free English teacher rather than a romance!
The second thing she mentions is that doesn’t want to speak to any rude guys; it really does seem that there are a lot of foreigners out there that don’t know how to behave themselves on the net. Let me repeat myself once more... Thai girls are shy and it will nearly always ruin your chances if you don’t show them respect.
There’s an unusual aspect to this profile – she states that she does not want children.
Whilst this might be quite unusual for a western woman, it is almost unheard of in Thailand. Children are cherished in Thailand and every family wants them. Even if a Thai lady didn’t want children herself (which would be extremely rare), she would still almost certainly expect to have them with her future husband since family expectations would almost certainly demand it.
Finally, there is one more danger sign. It is not easy to spot it but there is a tattoo reflected in the mirror above her right ankle – tattoos are most popular with bar girls!
Mature Thai girls, by which I mean any lady over the age of 40, also use the internet in fairly large numbers to find romance.
The lady in this picture is 44 years old and her profile looks a little like that of someone who is a bit unused to online dating.
Her introduction message states that she does not know what men look for in a woman but that if you want to, you can contact her for a chat.
She has left most of the personal details about herself blank e.g. whether she has children, where she works, her income level, her level of education and so on, so I guess she is a little more of a private sort of person to what you normally find in Thailand.
She has also chosen not to specify an age group for the man that she is hoping to meet.
When I first looked at the picture my instinct was that she can’t be in Thailand, not wearing that jumper in the heat and humidity. I think it is Thailand though, I recognize the brand of bottled water, it’s sold in most bars and convenience stalls all over Thailand.
You might not believe it but the locals do get cold at some times of the year. I’m guessing that the picture was taken sometime around December or January as those are the least hot months.
In the north of Thailand at that time of year, the locals do wear this sort of garment and you’ll sometimes see them shivering too! If you are there at that time of year, you’ll find that shorts and a t-shirt are fine even in the dead of night (unless you are in the furthest north at altitude).
Also in the picture, I notice a ring on her right hand. Once again my suspicious mind has reared its head and got me wondering if it’s a wedding ring. Thai ladies do wear the wedding ring on the right hand, and they are not particular about which finger.
I wouldn’t worry about this though, a fairly high proportion of the mature Thai ladies that you’ll meet online or elsewhere may well have been married before and are either widowed or divorced (divorce being relatively rare compared to the West but being widowed is far more common than in the West).
Whilst it is true that the prettier Thai girls do get a lot of attention online, it doesn’t mean that all that attention leads to over-confidence.
Many ladies are quite shy and the first thing that the lady on this profile makes clear is that she “doesn’t play Skype”! Presumably that’s because she is too shy.
Even if she doesn’t have immediate and private access to Skype at her home, she will have ready access to it in plenty of internet café’s dotted around Bangkok (which is where she is from).
Admittedly, I’m quite a private person myself, and I certainly wouldn’t want to engage in online dating in a public place for all to hear, but some Thai girls aren’t even the least bit concerned about such things.
However, they will certainly be especially concerned about inappropriate language and behavior in a public place and that’s another good reason to keep your conversations ultra-tactful. My advice is unchanged, you should try to speak with the girls via live video stream before meeting them so that you can confirm their appearance.
The lady here is 22 years old and is interested in meeting men aged from 18 to 30. She is 165cm tall and weighs 50kg. She is degree educated, but there is no information about her employment or income.
I have noticed that a very high proportion of the ladies online declare an education level up to Bachelor’s degree level, and I think it worthwhile to add a note of caution here. Whilst there are lots of girls who attend university, I think that the high proportion of online girls claiming to be degree educated is highly disproportionate – I suspect that some ladies are claiming to have qualifications that they do not have.
Why would they do that? Because going to university in Thailand is expensive and it is something that only children from reasonably wealthy families can afford to do. Going to university is a bigger status boost in Thailand than it is elsewhere, and for girls in particular (daughters are often overlooked in favor of sons).
For any gold-digger that might want to pose as a respectable lady, claiming to have a degree is tempting. Take this advice generally, it isn’t aimed in any way at this particular profile and I think the girl here looks respectable.
There really are some seriously hot Thai girls to be found online and the girl in this picture is a prime example of this. She has a look that most Thai men would find very appealing, so I’m guessing that this lady will have been contacted by many an admiring suitor.
This lady is 27 years old and is looking for a man of any age group, which does cause some concern but it may be that she just didn’t complete her profile as regards her preferred age range of suitors.
She is 160cm in height, and weighs in at a slender 43kg. She is located in the ideal place for a date i.e. Bangkok.
Hot Thai girls such as this lady do have a lot of potential suitors and I imagine that she is looking for someone special. She states on her profile that she “loves to care for people and has a passion for the best in life.”
I imagine that this translates in meaning to something like ‘paupers need not apply’ but I could be wrong about that, and you should never be too concerned about such statements as there is often a great deal of meaning that is misunderstood.
On another photo (not shown here), I noticed what appeared to be a piece of string tied around her wrist. If it was a piece of string, this is something that is quite common with Thai girls and it relates to their superstitions. Thais are very superstitious by nature and they take the whole subject of the spirit world very seriously indeed. The string is meant to bring good luck and ward off evil spirits…
You are well advised to take these superstitions seriously if only for the fact that virtually all Thai girls take them seriously. Thais can experience genuine fear about ghosts and such things and you won’t get much peace and quiet with a Thai lady who believes the spirit world has got it in for her.
Finding a good Thai girl online, as opposed to hooking up with a gold-digger, is a top priority for anyone who is interested in getting into a serious long-term relationship.
You’ll never be able to pick these girls out purely from the information that you see on a profile, but there are certainly lots of things to look for that will improve your chances of finding someone who is genuine.
Chief amongst these things is establishing what sort of work the girl does... or rather, establishing that she doesn’t do anything unwholesome for a living!
The profile here gives me some confidence that the girl is employed in a proper, respectable line of work. The picture is clearly taken at her workplace and she appears to be wearing some sort of uniform.
She is a very petite lady standing only 153cm in height and weighing just 40kg.
I’m not sure exactly what work she does as that information is not given on her profile, but it isn’t needed as the photo is more convincing than words. Any lady can pretend to be a good girl by typing in a few inaccurate words onto a profile, but it’s much harder to fake a photograph.
The lady here is 24 years old and she is looking to meet a man of any age group (again, this could be a danger-sign, or it could be that she failed to specify an age range). She is from Samut Prakan, which is located just a few miles to the south of Bangkok.
She is university educated, having a bachelor’s degree, and she indicated that she is still a student. It is not clear if the work she does is part-time or if she is currently undertaking professional studies as part of a full-time job.
As is so often the case on Thai girl profiles, this lady has made a clear statement that she does not want to talk about sex and that you shouldn’t contact her if that is your intention.
She has stated that she wants a boyfriend and to improve her English skills. She has also stated that she doesn’t like men that lie or are flirtatious; she wants to find someone who will be a gentleman to her.
All in all, this profile looks like just the sort of thing I’d be looking for if I wanted to meet a good lady for a lasting relationship.
The options for meeting Thai girls in your own country are obviously much more restricted but there are some opportunities out there. On the whole I think it better to start your search in Thailand because most of the ladies in the west are there because they have already married a westerner and secured a visa to join him in his home country.
There are exceptions though, and it is not unusual for relatives of Thai wives in the west to come and join them for a visit. It’s not always easy to arrange visas for a Thai family member to gain entry to a western country, but some manage it, and those that do can be very open to the idea of romance with a western guy.
A better option, in my opinion, relates to Thais who are in the west on an education visa. There are thousands of eligible young ladies studying in western universities, and the English speaking world seems to be particularly popular with Thais.
To meet Thai girls in the USA I think that the obvious places to search are the big cities. If you are near to a big city that has a university which is highly regarded internationally, then there’s a chance that it has a Thai contingent of students. If that university has a well-regarded business school then your chances are further increased since that is the most popular subject amongst Thais.
I did some research on my recommended Thai dating site and found that there’s a much larger body of Thai girls located in New York than in any of the other cities.
To confirm that New York is popular, you could do an online search for Thai food outlets – especially grocery stores. If there’s a significant body of Thais in the area, there will be a specialist grocery store nearby that stocks Thai produce.
All the same factors apply in the UK as in the USA and my research indicated that London is overwhelmingly the most popular location to find Thai girls in the UK. There are some opportunities in Manchester, but London is way out in front.
Thailand is one of the biggest contributory countries for international students in the UK.
Since I am British I can confirm from my own research that there are Thai communities all over the country though, with every significant town have a local Thai restaurant. Thai grocery stores are harder to find, and are probably a better indicator of the size of the local Thai population.
Australia has a slight advantage in terms of its relatively closer location to Thailand, but it isn’t exactly next door. It’s still a long flight away and so I was surprised to find that there are a larger number of Thai girls in Australia to be found on my recommended Thai dating site than in the UK.
When you consider that Australia is a smaller country it means that the overall significance of its Thai community is significantly larger. I found online girls to be predominantly located in Sydney, but Melbourne and Perth also had a reasonable number of ladies.
There’s another advantage that Australia has that acts as a pulling mechanism for Thais i.e. the weather. One thing that Thais don’t like is cold weather. During my own university days I only recall having met two Thai students, but I recall that both used to wrap up like crazy…
If you already have a Thai love interest and wish to find out more about the possibility of arranging for her to visit you in the west, have a look at the links below to gather information about visa requirements:
If you are considering taking your girl outside of Thailand to go live with you in your country, you must have already been through a lot of headaches just getting to this point. You may have married, paid a dowry, sorted out a visa for your girl, and so on.
Wouldn't it be great if you could now finally relax for a while?
If only life was that easy! Taking your girl outside of Thailand to start a new life in a new country comes with a long list of new headaches to get stuck into. No doubt your girl has already given you a million assurances that this is what she wants, but the reality of life outside of Thailand is not something that your average Thai person enjoys.
Below I’ll describe some of the problems that you might encounter with Thai dating outside of the land of smiles. It is not a full list, but you can bet that the challenges mentioned here will crop up, along with a few others.
First and foremost you need to understand that most Thai girls are accustomed to having the company of lots of friends. Nearly all Thais are very big on family and friends, to the point that they do almost everything together as part of a group... just being alone drives many Thais nuts!
Loneliness is sure to be a major challenge for your girl once she leaves Thailand. She's likely never left before, so the isolation that she will feel in a different country will be very hard on her. She will want to spend all her time with you and if you need to go out to work and leave her alone all day, it will not be easy on her.
When you are not at work you will need to stay with her all the time. If you are used to heading out alone to see your friends for a few beers or to watch the football or whatever you can forget it! Things will be different from here on in.
My best advice is to put some real effort into finding some Thai friends for your girl once you are in your country. One way to do this is to head for your local Thai restaurant and explain to the waitress your situation. She will most likely be happy to make a new friend herself, and she will likely have other friends that she can introduce to your girl.
Once your girl has friends you'll stand a decent chance of getting some time alone with your friends. Be careful with this though because Thai girls in foreign countries have got a bit of a bad reputation and if they are not the right sort of people then they might be a VERY bad influence on your girl.
Try to scope out whether or not the Thais you meet are the sort of people you want your girl to become friends with. This won't be easy, but my Thai dating section will give you some guidance on what sort of Thai character to be wary of.
In a nutshell, there are a lot of former bar-girls living in western countries and a large proportion of them behave in the worst way possible, frequently cheating on the husbands with multiple lovers and constantly lying about it all. Dealing with this sort of betrayal and humiliation is bad enough in Thailand, but if it happens in your hometown community where lifelong friends will know all about it, the grievance will be much worse.
The weather is another common problem. The climate in a cold country is something that Thai girls do not fully appreciate until they experience it... and she don't often like it! Obviously this won't be a problem if your country enjoys a warm climate.
Food is another problem.
Most of the Thai people I know like to eat Thai food and more or less nothing else! You might be able to find a Thai grocery store near to your home, but the food that they have won't be quite the same as what she is used to, and there will be some things that she can't get at all.
The expense can be way over anything that you anticipated.
This might not be a problem if you are financially well off, but if you are like most guys then the cost of getting visas and flights, on top of the regular extra living costs such as heating bills, Thai food, eating out (which you will do a lot more of) and so on will all be a big challenge for most budgets.
If emigrating to go and live with your Thailand girl is an option for you then you can count yourself as a lucky man. Thailand is an amazing place, and it offers you the best chance of long-term relationship success.
However, it's not all a bed of roses.
There are a number of issues that you might not expect relating to life here with your girl. If you were thinking that your girl would be the same person that you knew when you first met her on your vacation, you might be somewhat disappointed.
This is because you will now be fully exposed to Thai culture and whilst there's nothing wrong with it, there’s no denying that it is a very unique culture. It will, at times, seriously challenge your viewpoint on how everyday things ought to be done.
Your Thai girl will immerse you into her family and all that this entails, and that means that she will want to help her family out with all sort of daily expenses.
There are lots of horror stories too.
It’s a sad fact that some people, Thai or farang, are money grabbing scumbags. I know of one Thai man who used to run a lottery game and spend all of his takings. When a customer got lucky and won the 100,000 baht jackpot he couldn't pay up... so he got straight on the phone to his daughter demanding the necessary cash from her Western husband!
I've also heard of a Western man that built a house in Thailand for himself and his Thai family, but he built it on his father-in-law's land. The father-in-law then promptly borrowed a few hundred thousand baht using that land as collateral. When he couldn't repay his debts, the poor Western man had to pay up or face losing his house!
Obviously, not all Thai's are as unscrupulous as this, but you do need to be very careful.
Another problem that you will need to face is that, in Thailand, you will be isolated from your friends and family back home. You are going to miss certain aspects of your life that you left behind and, over time, this will be an issue for you.
So far I haven’t mentioned anything about visas, but this is a potentially huge problem that you could face in Thailand. Retirement visas need to be renewed regularly and they come with a list of qualifying criteria that changes regularly! There are no guarantees that you will be successful with future applications.
You probably will be okay, but this can feel like an ever-present threat.
If you have children, you are advised to choose a school for them very carefully. Education standards vary by a wide margin and it might be that the only school you like is a bit on the expensive side.
If you live with your girl somewhere near to her family, you will find that the whole family moves around as a unit. Whether it's going to a restaurant, going shopping, heading to the beach or whatever, you will often have a bunch of relatives coming with you... whether you like it or not!
If you live in one of the tourist destinations like Pattaya, you might find it a challenge to get out alone for a quiet beer or two. You can imagine why this is the case given that there are all sorts of temptations wandering around in short dresses! Your girl will be concerned that your unfaltering loyalty might go astray!
Generally speaking, the long-term problems that you will face when living with Thai girls are easily surmountable if you are accustomed to your lady’s culture and are well prepared to change a few of your habits.
The cost of living is low in Thailand, but it won’t be as low as you think. This is because it is a mistake to look just at the price of things in Thailand compared to the west and think that you will spend a lot less here. The hidden costs are significant, but they should easily be affordable to anyone contemplating a marriage!
There's not much in life that is worth having that is also easily won.
Choosing to live in your country rather than Thailand is not my recommended option if you can avoid it. You can prepare yourself to high degree for life with a Thai lady, but you’ll never be able to know in advance that your girl is prepared for life overseas.
If you go ahead regardless and bring your Thai wife/girlfriend back to your own country, I suggest that you build a backup plan in case she hates the place. If there’s no way that your finances will allow you to retire right now, you’ll need to have a realistic plan to retire soon, or else earn an income in Thailand.
This lovely petite young lady, 28 years old and only 47kg, is looking for a western man to be her boyfriend. If you would like to meet up with girls just as lovely, you can with my
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