Thai girls have got a bad reputation when it comes to their romantic liaisons with western guys. I doubt that I’ll make many front-page ‘breaking news’ columns by pointing that out, because there have been a lot of failed romances over the years.
However, a lot of the bad press is unfair. Most of the failed relationships began as holiday romances with ladies who work in the bars of Pattaya, Phuket or Bangkok, and while these ladies are lovely, it should be clear to most guys that they aren’t the most suitable for serious romantic commitment.
However, if you step away from the tourist area bar scene, you can easily find endless opportunities for fun and adventure with ladies who are much more suitable for lasting relationships.
The Thai-Western dating success stories get very little publicity, and many people behave as though there is no such thing as an honest, decent Thai girl who is worthy of your trust. This, of course, is total nonsense!
My focus on this site is all about providing you with the best advice on the net about how to find the best Thai girls for your own romantic needs, whether that be casual fun or serious commitment.
As a general rule Thai women prefer Thai men, and that should be no surprise at all since no one understands a Thai woman better than a Thai man. However, the question itself is a bit misplaced, because the more pertinent question is whether there is a subset of Thai ladies that want to hook up with us westerners and, if so, are there more of them than us?
As with so many things in life, success in the dating game comes down to numbers, and I can assure you that the number of Thai women actively seeking western boyfriends vastly outnumbers the number of western guys in Thailand.
Of course, if you are not in Thailand, you can still use a Thai dating site from your own country. You’ll notice that there are more Thai women seeking western boyfriends on these sites than there are available western men, and that greatly simplifies matters. Arranging meet ups is extremely easy.
The question of why this subset of Thai girls is interested in us westerners remains unanswered, but there are a number of common reasons:
In summary, the reasons why some Thai girls prefer foreign men are many and varied, but it is nothing to be surprised about. After all, there are plenty of western girls who have romantic interests in guys from a different background to their own.
I’ll be upfront and tell you right now that, in most cases, the online dating sites are going to offer you the best opportunities for getting what you want. If you are actually in Thailand then you can do even better by just approaching girls on the street, in shops, whilst waiting for the train, etc.
On the other hand, these in-person approaches need a lot more confidence, and when you've been out of the dating game for a while a little less pressure is usually preferred.
You do need to handle the dating sites with care though, because there’s no shortage of gold-diggers online, and careless use of the sites will put you at risk of falling prey to one of them. That’s kind of the whole point of this site… I’m going to give you the knowledge and understanding that’s necessary to protect yourself from falling victim.
Don’t underestimate the risks, the horror stories that you may have heard, and the preconceptions towards Thai girls that you may harbor, have probably all come from guys who have made some seriously bad choices regarding their own romantic partners.
The risks are real because there are some really good liars out there.
When someone from a poor background depends on the money that she makes from the lies that she tells, you can bet that she’s good at it! Happily, these ladies are a minority and can be avoided once you are familiar with the Thai dating scene.
You'll be more or less guaranteed to have a few tales to tell once you've spent any significant time in the dating game here, and it is a lot of fun.
As you might expect, first impressions matter a great deal in Thailand just as they do in any other country. The main difference with Western cultures is that the best way to impress a Thai lady is to go more for the calm and assured approach rather than the outgoing extroverted approach.
You don’t need to worry about awkward silences in Thailand, the whole dating game is a much more relaxed affair. Confidence is important, but not in the sense that you have prove your worthiness. If you can relax in the company of your lady, and just enjoy a meal and some time together, you’ll do just fine.
A big fear that Thai girls have with regard to dating Western men is that they will be embarrassed by their overly extroverted manner, or by their lack of appreciation for conservative values. Public displays of affection are a strict no-no, so keep your hands to yourself when in public. Do not worry about being put in the ‘friend’ basket, if your girl likes you then full intimacy will soon develop (see the section below about ‘Thai dating culture & sex’ for details).
As mentioned already, it's a lot safer to go looking for serious romance away from the main tourist areas, because the girls in these areas are primarily interested in making money. With that said, there are some differences within these areas to consider:
If you take your time to understand Thai women, and you don’t allow yourself to fall prey to the siren calls of lady half your age whom you met in a tourist area bar, then there are lots of genuine, caring ladies in Thailand who are eager to meet a similarly genuine and caring Western man.
Please read that again, because it is vitally important – if you want to form a lasting romantic relationship with a loyal and affectionate Thai woman, then there are plenty of opportunities to do so, but to get real affection and loyalty, you also have to give it. It’s like most things in life, you get out of it that which you put into it, and relationships are no less hard work in Thailand than anywhere else.
You will do your chances of success a big favor if you really know at the start what sort of life you want for yourself e.g., do you want to bring a Thai lady back home to the West, or do you want to settle in Thailand? If you want to settle in Thailand then where – a rural area or an urban area? These questions need answers, because you can lead a very different sort of life in Thailand depending on which part of it you live in.
There's actually a lot more cultural variety within different areas of Thailand than in most western countries. It’s not just that there is a very significant class structure that separates rich from poor, there are also big differences in the way of life between, for example, rural girls and city girls.
Depending on your preferences you’ll want to learn as much as you can about these things. For more information on this, have a look at my:
At some point in your journey towards romance with a Thai girl, you are going to need to pick up a solid grasp of the culture, and what will be expected from you if you go all in and get married. If you don’t get a good idea of what married life entails, you’ll constantly be jumping to the wrong conclusions and falling out with your Thai wife. For an idea of what married life would be like, have a read of my article about Thai wives.
Most of us westerners put far too much trust in the idea that what comes naturally to us must also be deemed common sense to a Thai, but it often isn’t. Misunderstandings are the major cause of relationship meltdowns, because our western instincts are often off the mark. Worse still is that most Thais know far less about western culture than we know about Thai culture.
The horror stories about relationships between Thais and westerners are no joke but, like I said already, they usually stem from really bad beginnings in tourist area bars and clubs. For details of the more wholesome, solvable, types of problems that you might encounter, have a look at my article about Thai Girlfriend Problems.
Establishing trust and forming genuine relationships with Thai women requires effort and understanding. Here are some tips to help you with this:
A few words about sex in Thailand, with regard to the dating culture there, will no doubt be of interest to you. Assuming that you choose well and find a respectable lady that is serious about forming a lasting relationship with you, you will likely find that the early stages of the dating game will seemingly progress very slowly.
Your lady will likely appear to you as being extremely shy and conservative. You may wonder to yourself how on Earth things will ever progress towards full on adult intimacy, but relax about this. Once you have built up a little trust, perhaps by the second of third date, your lady will likely to be comfortable enough to join you in your hotel room.
At that point, if you’ve never experienced romance with a Thai woman, you might be very surprised just how liberated your shy and conservative lady can be. To put it another way, Thais have no Christian hangups about sex, because they aren’t Christian, they are overwhelmingly Buddhist. I’ll say no more about it here, but I doubt that you’ll have a bad experience!
For western guys looking for romance and adventure in the land of smiles, there are endless opportunities to find ladies to suit your preferences. The popular stereo types of Thai girls only being interested in your money is not entirely true, but it does have a grain of truth. Gender roles here are very traditional in the sense that the male half of a couple will need to be a provider. In return, the female half will be a loyal and caring homemaker.
Where serious relationship problems arise, it is almost always the case that the foundations of that relationship were built on very shaky ground i.e., where a guy has gotten involved with a tourist area bar-girl. You can avoid this by reading up on Thai dating culture and either meeting women in more respectable locations like the workplace, shopping centers, sky-train etc. If you are not in Thailand, the dating sites are a good option.
It's also worth considering your own preferences, and being honest with yourself about it. If you want to live the single life in Pattaya or other tourist area, there is no reason why you can’t do that and be happy, just don’t get too attached to any one girl.
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