Bangkok Girls
(Sex & Prices in 2020)

As ever, the Bangkok girls that work in the pay-for-play (P4P) industry remain a massive draw for visitors to the big city, and there's no denying that these ladies are often good-looking. However, there's more to this place than just short-time sex with bar-girls...

If you want to date a sexy, younger Thai lady that you can put your trust in, don't go looking for her at a bar. Thai bar girls can be lovely, but they're not great at loyalty... online dating is much safer, so check:

My Recommended Dating Site

For most men, regular Bangkok girls (i.e. not working-girls) probably make the most suitable ladies for long-term relationships because the culture gap in the big city is usually that bit easier to bridge than it would be for ladies from a traditional rural area.

Bangkok is a massive cosmopolitan city, and the people that live there are more likely to have some understanding of western culture.

English is widely spoken and there are plenty of middle-class, university educated ladies that would like to find a western boyfriend. Also, given that Bangkok is so large, there are plenty of ladies that are ready to meet you and who are within easy traveling distance.

I’ll be writing a lot more about the virtues of regular Thai girls in Bangkok in the sections below, but first off I want to write about the prostitution scene and the pleasures that it offers. After Pattaya, Bangkok is probably the most infamous naughty boy destination in Thailand, so a few words of advice are needed.

I’ll also be writing specifically about the differences between Bangkok and Pattaya below, so look out for that if you are undecided about which location you think you might prefer.

It tends to be guys who are visiting Bangkok rather than guys who live there that make use of the P4P sex industry in the city. Obviously that isn’t always the case, but expats in Bangkok often need to protect their reputation.

Anyone seen cavorting with Bangkok bar girls will ruin their local employment prospects!

Be aware that damaging your personal reputation in this way can easily have knock on effects for your business or professional ambitions if you need to deal with local people. However, for those who are undeterred by such things you’ll find that Bangkok bar girls can be a lot of fun.

You won’t find the ‘girlfriend experience’ as easily as you will in Pattaya, but there are exceptions.  Prices for the company of these ladies are significantly higher than they are in Pattaya, but compared to your average western city you’ll think that prices are relatively low.

The best places to find Bangkok bar girls are in the three red-light areas; Nana Plaza, Soi Cowboy and Patpong. If you are a fan of the naughty massage scene then you’ll be delighted to know that this is also very well catered for – the Bangkok Soapy massage is probably the best that Thailand has to offer!

The Bangkok sex industry is not what it once was, and it remains to be seen what the coming years will bring. The current focus of the authorities is on cleaning up the city's image, and that's not good news for fans of seedy Bangkok sex shows and the like...

When most men think of the Bangkok nightlife they imagine a place that's filled with exotic beauties and adult excitement, a place where the usual rules don’t apply and where a man can get lost in a kaleidoscope of hedonistic excess.

That was always my preconception too, and the first time that I experienced it for real I found that my imagination wasn’t too far off the mark.

A few years ago Bangkok was like another world, it was cool, and any western man that had the gumption to venture there was a man that refused to conform to western sense and sensibilities. Images of Vietnam servicemen resting up on R&R leave with a beer in one hand and parts of a sexy young thing in the other still get conjured up in my mind.

A TV documentary from a few years back, profiling the Bangkok red light district and detailing it as a seedy underworld of sex and exploitation still lingers in my head, and I remember recalling one of the areas under the documentary’s spotlight being labelled as the seediest of the seedy…

I also remember the warm sense of satisfaction I got in thinking “b****cks… I've been there, that place is not seedy, it’s f***ing fantastic.”

The Hangover 2 film that featured part of the Bangkok red light district also captured my imagination… the “Bangkok has him now” statement that was repeated a few times in the film resonated with me; it’s the seductive image of a place where anything goes, and once you’ve experienced it you're forever smitten!

Bangkok Bar Girls; True Story

By Shane (from Hua Hin)

I wanted to have some fun with Bangkok bar girls; I had been to Thailand once before, to the island of Phuket, but this time I was visiting the big city. I had arrived at night at around 8pm with nothing other than a small back pack.

It was pouring down with rain and what I saw was just chaos everywhere. Who cares? I was young, wild, free and single, and I wanted to hit the town. At Don Mueang International Airport I grabbed a taxi and simply told the driver I needed a hotel in the city center.

A while later we pulled up in front of the Patpong Hotel and the driver escorted me in to check if there were any rooms available. There were, so I booked a room for 5 days, paid for it and also for the taxi.

As I would later discover, taxi drivers can earn commission when they take customers to certain venues, including some hotels. Anyway the room I got was awesome and far better than anything I would have been able to afford in the UK.

Unbeknown to me at the time, Patpong is a famous Bangkok red light district, or should I say girlie bar area, and it is also where you are likely to find some sexy Bangkok girls.

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Once I had checked in to the hotel I had a shower and then ventured out in search of a beer. Everything appeared normal until I turned right at the first road along from my hotel. The neon signs immediately gave the game away, as did all the touts standing outside the a-go-go bars, along with placards advertising every sort of erotic show you could ever hope to imagine.

I had read about some of the things the girls can do with their man magnets, so obviously my curiosity got the better of me and before I knew it I was walking up a flight of stairs into the unknown, in a place called Supergirls.

Bangkok bar girls and their erotic capabilities

Passing through the upstairs door I was greeted and escorted to the bar which had a large marble tiled stage in the center, complete with several glistening stainless steel poles. The place was ALIVE! Music was playing and there must have been about 15 to 20 stunningly beautiful Bangkok bar girls, all naked; smiling and dancing.

To be honest, I was mesmerized but I felt a bit uncomfortable.

Never before had I walked into a room with so many beautiful women, all of which were 100% naked. I saw all types of shows that night as various girls demonstrated some hard to believe vaginal capabilities. Bottles of soda were opened; darts were fired at balloons, and even personal messages where written for customers willing to hand over a small tip.

There were no real sex shows however, but a classy and very erotic lesbian show got the customers cheering, and many men drooling. Suddenly the ceiling above the stage opened and a girl on a Harley Davidson lookalike was slowly lowered onto the stage. She was as beautiful as ever and was soon joined by another equally beautiful girl.

What happened next between the two of them, I'll leave to your imagination. After the show was over and the motorbike had been hoisted away the troop of Bangkok bar girls took to the stage again.

This was later followed by a giant champagne glass being lowered through the ceiling. In it was a naked girl taking a bath. I would later find out that the same routine was being repeated every night.

Next up; a very cute looking girl took to the stage. She looked about 22 to 25 years old but I would later discover that she was 33. This turned out to be a fire show and this girl was clearly an expert. Seriously, she was awesome and she was so damn hot (excuse the pun).

She wasn't the sexiest girl I had seen that night but I couldn't take my eyes off her.

After a few minutes she approached me; sat on my lap and started the tease. With a burning stick in each hand and a mouthful of whatever, she got off my lap; pushed me back gently in my chair; stepped back and gave me a smile, and then she blew a flame at a part of me that seriously doesn't need toasting.

By now I had already come to the conclusion that Bangkok bar girls are nothing like the girls you find elsewhere in Thailand.

Patpong, BangkokPatong, Bangkok

After her fire show I signaled for her to come over. We spoke and shared a few drinks and I asked her if she wanted to leave with me. She agreed and then went upstairs to get dressed because at this point she only had a towel wrapped around herself.

While she was getting dressed I settled my bill and then we left together. We went and had a meal; a few more drinks, and then back to my hotel. Nothing happened that night. We just fell asleep in each other's arms.

Even now, more than 15 years later, I remember the smell of her hair and the scent of her satin soft skin. I also remember wondering how she could fall asleep so peacefully with someone she had never met before. Maybe it was because she was used to going with different men all the time, and now here she was with a guy who had never even made a move on her?

This girl's different!?!??

I had read so much about bar girls but she just seemed to be different. The next evening we returned to the bar but she never had to perform because she was with me and I had paid the "barfine" to take her out of the bar for the remainder of my time in Thailand.

She and I never once discussed money or how much I would give her. Damn, she really was a nice woman. Even when we were out eating she never ever tried to order anything expensive. One night I insisted on going for a meal on board a boat on the river. I could never have afforded such luxury in my country or in the UK.

I insisted on her inviting her family and even then the bill was less than a decent meal for two back home. What an amazing experience. I wanted to do it again but she refused, saying that she never wanted me to spend all my money.

Quite often we would just eat at her home where I was always made to feel really welcome. Later I discovered that she was a Muslim Thai after she explained that when we were with her family she couldn't eat pork. She loved pork as do nearly all Thais lol.

By now we had started having sex but it was nothing like you would expect from a prostitute. There really seemed to be genuine emotion involved, and to be honest, it was truly amazing.

A few days before I was due to leave Thailand we took an overnight sleeper train to Chiang Mai in northern Thailand. We booked a three day jungle safari, walking for miles, sleeping with hill tribes, trekking, riding elephants and traveling down a river on bamboo rafts.

There really is something unforgettable about an experience like that, making love in remote streams and rivers deep in the jungle; bathing together with no electricity and none of the modern life comforts we've become so accustomed to.

My first trip to Bangkok ended at the airport with neither of us able to stop the tears.

One month later I returned, and again, the two of us had an amazing time together. Once again I paid for her to get time off from the bar where she worked. We visited a nearby island called Koh Samui, along with a lifelong friend of mine, and with a friend of hers.

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We would hire a small long tail boat and make our way to another tiny uninhabited island, and once there we would get a BBQ going, obviously with a cooler box full of cold beers.

The two of us would later head off alone to explore this tiny island, and usually we would end up making love on the beach or in the surf. No doubt, my friend and Aam’s friend were doing the same thing because they seemed to have hit it off together from day one.

I was working a one month on, one month off, rotation and every time I was off I came over to Thailand to be with Aam. We would travel around the country together and she never ever tried to fleece me.

Obviously I gave her some money but there were never any of the demands Bangkok bar girls are known for. As far as sex is concerned, we were no different to any new couple. Yes we did have sex and plenty of it, but it was just regular sex.

Return trips to Bangkok

On my next trip to Thailand Aam met me at the airport and we went and booked into a hotel. That night we went to Supergirls, the bar where she worked. When I offered to pay the bar fine to get her time off she said there's no need because she had quit her job there.

I really wanted to believe her but I just couldn’t.

She wasn’t new to the bar scene and old hands aren’t quick to abandon their cash cows. Let’s not forget, Bangkok bar girls at a busy bar can make far more money than even well paid office workers do.

Anyway, deep down inside me I was secretly hoping that she would pack it up at some point, but for now I would just make the most of the situation without becoming emotionally trapped. After spending about three lazy days and two crazy nights in the heart of Bangkok, we headed back down to the islands, not least because I really wanted to experience one of Thailand’s famous Full Moon Parties.

Once again, Aam and I had an incredible time.

We had booked into a very low key resort offering tiny beach bungalows only meters away from the water’s edge. This particular stretch of beach was always very quiet and wonderfully peaceful. We rarely saw other people venturing past, and on most days we never even left the resort because there was a small restaurant and a tiny bar, so we never really had any reason to venture into the busier areas. We had both seen it all, although we still made a point of going out on some nights.

The Full Moon Party on nearby Koh Phangan was awesome.

There were people of all ages dancing, many of which were still going when the sun came up. There were so many people just having a good time. I couldn't actually believe that I never witnessed a single fight considering how much alcohol was being consumed, and while this might come as a surprise, I saw no evidence of drug abuse either. Thailand's Full Moon parties get a lot of bad press but I have been to several over the years and they are nothing like what you read in the papers.

Bangkok nightlifeThe nightlife areas have plenty of options for relaxation.

While at the beach party, Aam and I took a walk up a small nearby hill shortly before sunrise. Completely hidden from view, we both stripped and did what young horny couples tend to do. Hell, Bangkok bar girls know exactly how to blow a man’s mind.

I mean, here I was on a tropical island, naked with a really good looking babe, having sex and watching the sun rising out of the ocean. How could I not be hooked?

The next day we got the ferry back over to Koh Samui and then flew up to Bangkok later that day. A day later I had to return to the UK because I was due to go offshore again. I hated having to leave, and when the time for goodbyes arrived, Aam and I were both struggling to hold back our tears.

A month later I was back, but this time Aam never met me at the airport. That night I went back to Supergirls to see if she was there. She wasn't and nobody knew where she was. Obviously I never believed them because in Thailand everyone knows everyone's business. Besides, she was a bar girl. She was probably away with some customer for a few days.

I can't say I felt hurt or betrayed, but I did feel disappointed.

I left Supergirl after a couple of beers and then ventured into another nearby bar. Before long I had a drop dead beautiful girl sitting beside me. In a dimly lit corner it didn't take long for her hands to start inching further and further up my thighs. Bangkok bar girls are pros and in no time at all she could feel what effect she was having on me…

Needless to say, the two of us ended up back in my room after the bar closed at 2am.

We showered together and it soon became clear that she was nothing like Aam. Some Bangkok bar girls are seriously up for it, and she was one of them. If I hadn't known better I would have thought she should have been the one paying me.

This girl was on fire with a seemingly never ending appetite for sex. She was only 24 so maybe that explains it. Of course she was doing it for the money, but she clearly loved it as well. I met her again the next night and the night after that too.

On the third night while she was trying to ride me to death on the bed in my hotel room, there was a loud knock on the door. It was Aam, so I opened the door and let her in. Her face was expressionless but in Thailand that only means one thing.

Ever so calmly she turned to my young nymphomaniac partner who was already getting dressed. She muttered something in Thai and the nymph left instantly. The younger Bangkok bar girls nearly always bow down to the older girls.

I was actually annoyed but too tired to get into an argument with Aam so I just lay down. Aam got undressed and then lay down next to me. Neither of us spoke but later I could hear she was crying. I wasn't going to fall for that trick so I just ignored her.

After a while she rolled over and hugged me, but it really seemed to be an emotionally charged hug. She was crying and saying how sorry she was for hurting me, but she wouldn’t say more.

Aam no more

Newbies don't expect this sort of thing from Bangkok bar girls but, the next morning, she started crying again and she told me she had to show me something. It was a photo of her and a Scottish man on their wedding day shortly before I had arrived back in Thailand.

I was sad because it signaled the end of our strange relationship; I was sad for her husband, and I was sad for Aam because deep down in my heart I know she married for security rather than for love.

Her and I remained friends, and I later also became friends with her husband. Even now, 16 years later, Aam and I still visit each other occasionally. Nothing happens, but inside our hearts we both know that we still have some feeling for each other. Ironically, it was Aam who introduced me to my wife.

Aam has never returned to the bars other than to go and see friends.

Virtually every foreigner who has visited Thailand will say that you can take a girl out of the bar, but you can’t take the bar out of the girl. I think this is true to a certain extent, but I know of several girls who left the bar scene behind them, never to return. Not all Bangkok bar girls are the same once you get them away from that lifestyle.

The Bangkok Red Light District

So, the question has to be asked, how does the modern Bangkok measure up as a place for party animals, and where are the best places to be found? Read on…

Bangkok Red Light District 1; Nana Plaza

The Nana Entertainment Plaza (NEP) dubs itself the world’s largest adult playground but, whilst there are lots of bars there, I don’t believe that this is a credible statement.

Nana Plaza BarsNana Plaza remains my firm favourite red light area in Bangkok.

For one thing, it is nowhere near the size of Pattaya’s Walking Street. It is a good spot regardless of the dubious size claim and personally I favor it as the best Bangkok red light district; the other two just aren’t big enough for my taste. The NEP was the focus of the TV documentary that I mentioned above, and I’ve had plenty of fun times there.

The NEP had a big facelift a few years back which has done a lot to spruce it up. It was a much needed renovation and it brought a completely different feel to the place.

Different isn’t always better and the rough-as-nuts appeal that some may remember about the NEP has been replaced by a yellow paint job, improved lighting, removal of food stalls that used to clog up the entrance, and some new modern beer bars in the center of the 3-storey courtyard.

A-go-go bars occupy all 3 storeys, and some have ladyboys performing…

A lot of the gogo bars have changed theme from one thing to another in search of that elusive winning business formula, but the gogo bar business model in the plaza is often described as struggling at best… and some would say that it’s totally broken.

The beer bars that line Soi Nana outside the NEP have also undergone a lot of redevelopment in recent years, and most are now as modern and trendy as you’ll find in a typical western city, with lots of sexy ladies working in them.

To read a true story about one man's experience with the sexy ladies of the plaza, have a read of this:

Bangkok Red Light District 2; Patpong

Patpong has most history attached to it, and it is the place I always think of when I think of a Bangkok ping pong show or something similar.

It’s the sort of place where you expect a few touts to hustle you upstairs into one of the lady shows, and then charge you a fortune for a compulsory drink and so on. In fairness, these are all just preconceptions and the hassle factor here is not really all that different to the other areas.

Unfortunately, Patpong is a big disappointment to me these days; it is the smallest of the three red light areas and the market stalls in the middle of the set up doesn’t do much to help the bar scene. It is still famous for the Ping Pong shows that some of the bars put on, but you need to be careful with these as many are rip-off joints.

I think that this is intentional because, over time, Patpong is declining as a naughty-bar zone and is sort of reinventing itself as a more mainstream destination. There are some very attractive Bangkok bar girls to be found here though.

Its heyday was long ago, maybe the 1980's, and is now a mixture of all sorts of things. The variety may appeal to some, but to most people it will come across as being a bit of a mismatch… I mean who goes out intending to buy a shirt and watch a ping pong show?

Patpong is unique in two other ways; firstly, it is built on privately owned land and secondly, it is located within a designated entertainment zone, meaning that the bars there can stay open for an extra hour, until 2am.

Bangkok Red Light District 3; Soi Cowboy

The first time that I ever visited Soi Cowboy I have to say that I was left feeling distinctly underwhelmed but, to be fair to the place, my expectations were probably too high.

Soi CowboySoi Cowboy - of 'Hangover 2' fame.

If I’d accidentally stumbled across the soi whilst on a wander then I think I would probably have felt quite differently about it, and would have been more appreciative. The problem was that I’d been reading that it was the best venue in Bangkok and so I was expecting it to be bigger and better than Nana Plaza, but it’s actually quite small in comparison.

The “Hangover 2” film has done a lot to popularize Soi Cowboy on account of a few scenes in the film being shot there. Some of the best gogo bars are to be found here too, Baccara being the most notable, and there’s a lot of neon lighting up the place.

If you are wondering how the soi got its name, it’s because of the cowboy hat wearing American who opened the first bar there back in the 1970's.

I want to turn now to an example of the sort of bar-girl story that people still associate with the city... and then I'll tell you where you can still find this sort of experience!

Overall Thoughts on the Naughty Scene

These days, a lack of Bangkok girls entering the bar industry has hit hard in the capital where alternative work, and alternative means of meeting westerners via online dating, has taken its toll. Compared to yesteryear it’s a major challenge for the bars to recruit enough of the quality ladies that the customers want to see, and that hurts trade.

It is no easy task to get customers into a gogo bar without a quality line up of ladies!

The relative scarcity of available bar girls has meant that the prices asked by those that remain has soared in recent years. In summary, all three of these places still have their charms, but there is a feeling that some of the fun-factor has been lost.

The Thai smiles have not deserted the place but they aren’t as ready as they once were and worse still, the Bangkok girls working in the bars don’t offer the same sort of girlfriend experience that they once did – despite prices rising beyond all recognition.

I think that the last thing anyone would expect of Bangkok bars, given the anything-goes perception that people tend to have, is that there would be closing times. Well, there are closing times, and they are enforced!

By 2 o’clock in the morning your night is over unless you intend to drink in your hotel room, it’s a big disappointment to be honest.

I appreciate that not everyone has quite the same drinking mentality as myself and my fellow Englishmen, but I reserve the desire to occasionally drink myself into oblivion. If I don’t wake up from time to time in a strange bar with absolutely no idea of how I came to be there, then that dispels the whole anything-goes illusion for me!

The Bangkok red light district survives rather than thrives, that is the sort of impression that you get these days and especially so when comparing it to days gone by.

Happily, there is a solution to this problem… its name is Pattaya. It’s less than 2-hours away by taxi, the prices are much lower, the Pattaya girls are much friendlier, and the nightlife is second to none. For comparisons between Bangkok and Pattaya, scroll down the page for more details.

Bangkok Girl Sex Prices (P4P)

P4P sex prices in Bangkok are as steep as it gets in Thailand, and the pushy nature of the bar-girls to buy them drinks and so on makes for a night that is much more expensive that it once was.

Unless you have deep enough pockets to not care about the cost, I suggest Pattaya as a more affordable alternative.

My usual proviso applies - the prices are for short-time only (an hour or a single shot). Yes, there are many factors that will affect these prices, and strong negotiating skills my help on some occasions. The time of year matters (high season is expensive) and the time of night also matters (later on things gets more negotiable).

Casual Bangkok Sex with Online Girls

By Wesley (from the USA)

I'd been enjoying the casual Bangkok sex scene with online ladies for months and I'd run into the same problem almost every time; significant time and energy invested in the initial stages, and no sustainable chemistry once we'd spent time together.

At the other end of the spectrum were the Thai girls who would approach me with a forwardness that was off-putting, or even scary.

I wanted to meet sane and grounded girls, but girls who weren't going to delay the inevitable, the face to face encounter. The whole routine of message-stage formalities had gotten to be so repetitive that I'd started to play with the idea of setting up an automated series of  responses to save myself some time. I decided to give up the white knight act and lay out my whole casual Bangkok sex agenda on the table from the first message.

Fear is a useful emotion, and I bear the scars of not always having had enough respect for it, but in this situation it was a good thing to let go of. I decided that if a Thai woman was comfortable enough with her sexuality to post openly about it online then it shouldn’t be a problem if I felt like being very direct about my agenda.

Bangkok online girlsThere are a lot of sexy girls online in Thailand.

I want to assert that this wasn't a soulless quest for physical contact, there are plenty of instant gratification Bangkok sex establishments for that, but I could only stand so much precursory flirtation. I needed a girl with an open attitude towards intimacy.

Nook had portrayed herself as a worldly, open-minded, and very sexual person, so I threw my hook in the water.

Bangkok sex partner; Nook

My introductory message was very direct. First, I stated what it was that I was looking for; in this case an intelligent and engaging person with whom I could exchange intimacy. Then I sold myself, listed my attributes of romantic value – cooking, musical ability, fitness, etc. Finally, and I think this was an important part of the whole pitch, I made clear admission of my most glaring flaws. I can be distant, I need periods of isolation and my condo is not sanitary nor does it have a pleasant smell. That last one is pretty high on most Thai girls' lists, “good smell”, so that's an important disclosure for me to make.

I actually took the whole lack of pretense a step further and wore my favourite shirt which wasn't particularly intact. She was taking night classes and I arranged to meet her near the campus for a drink. I got there early.  I jumped up to attention when I saw her coming; sparks flew immediately and the conversation was quick and focused. Within thirty minutes we were in a cab headed back to my place, which wasn't clean.

As we climbed into my half-made bed she gave me the complete run down of her current romantic involvements, intentions, and erotic ambitions; she was unbelievably direct. Unless money has been discussed, the Bangkok sex scene tends to develop much more slowly than this, so it seemed that my new direct approach online was working well.

While there was a good deal of pawing and rolling around, we didn't jump straight into the main event. We spent hours talking about nothing in particular and laughing like hell about all of it. She'd gone through private schools and spent a lot of time overseas so her level of English was quite high, but she was still very much a woman of Thailand.

Shopping of course is the national pastime of the fairer sex, and a casual Bangkok sex acquaintance is no exception. Nor was she lax in the grooming of her nails or the stocking of scrubs, creams, lotions and fragrances. And it's difficult for me to say how much of it was her because this time I feel I was equally guilty, but there was constant messaging.

Once she started coming over regularly the bad smell was something that she decided to deal with. She bought me a bunch of cleaning supplies and put little cups of fragrant oils with sticks stuck into them all around the condo, there were a selection of approved sprays too. I wasn't allowed to spray anything else. Unlike most Thai girls I'd dated in the past, she left it at that. Generally I've found they'll start cleaning even if it isn't completely necessary and you'd rather they didn't. I had no expectation of her cleaning anything, but she did lay down a very exacting set of standards that I had to meet, or else.

Now, whether it was monogamous or not, I had a relationship with the expectation of clean quarters and regular contact, and I was being encouraged by various means to explore other avenues of the Bangkok sex scene; so I did.

Thai girls and disclosure...

Feeling compelled to do it, I was more or less emotionless about the whole thing and snapped at the first chick who seemed interested. She was an English woman, a few years my senior and most graciously endowed. Our initial exchanges wasted nothing on pleasantries, lest you count a graphic picture exchange. She had a few x-rated videos too; I thought I had it made.

The actual experience was tragic. I was read poetry, I was drawn into a bizarre and prolonged sort of petting, the viewing of a teen angst chick flick, and she kept gnashing her teeth and growling at me in the most unappealing way possible.

It was horrifying and I'd agreed to spend two nights. I'd done what I thought I was obligated to do the morning after the first night, but her hands were greedy and forever probing and squeezing unsympathetically. A very real sense of dread had begun to creep over me when Nook called, and she was a little bit angry. Apparently I was obliged to let her know if I'd planned to make an extended stay and I was supposed to go meet her at my place immediately. I leapt at the out, and so ended my Bangkok sex excursion with the English woman...

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Things changed after that and a strict code of disclosure was imposed on me. I had to let her know of anyone I planned to chat with before I chatted with them, and I had to give her access to all my accounts so that she could read my communications. And she did, finding reason to criticize almost everything in there. She gave me access to Facebook, Okcupid, Thaifriendly, and all of that kind of stuff too, but I only glanced at it as a sort of formality.

I was busy with work and with Nook, and as much as it seemed like an open buffet of potential Thai lovers, I didn't have the energy to partake of it. And so far as I could tell, neither did Nook.

Having assumed she was operating under the same ‘Bangkok sex disclosure protocol’ that I was, it also made sense for me to assume that she, too, had not found time for any other playmates. So when I called her one Friday evening I expected she wouldn't be doing anything after work and would want to come over, in anticipation of which I'd picked up a load of seafood at the market.

“Can we talk tomorrow? I'm meeting someone for dinner tonight.”
“Huh? Since when? Dinner with whom?”
“Adrian, since earlier today. He just wants some information about the club.”
“Uh, oh, ok.”

She was involved in all sorts of clubs, so I overate of  seafood and khanom and went to bed early.

She called me at 8:30 on Saturday morning, and sounded manic. She loved me so much, I was so fantastic, and she had to see me immediately. I went straight over and my second foot hadn't crossed the threshold before she pounced, all cooing and kissing and praise.

It wasn't until we were within heartbeats of our laying together getting biblical that I asked what had been up with Adrian. The momentary flash of expression told me everything I needed to know.

“Was he here?” She nodded bashfully. “Did you..” I got a bit vulgar here but her answer was yes. “When the hell were you going to tell me?”

Her phone beeped. A message flashed on the screen. She hadn't given me access to her Line or email accounts and a sudden realization hit me. I looked at her, looked at the phone, looked at her again and grabbed the phone. I read through several chats, all with other dudes, all graphic, all with meetings in the planning phase.

This is not an uncommon double standard in the non-committal Bangkok sex scene, but my trust felt profoundly violated. I'd acquiesced to sexual openness, but I'd done it with the agreement of mutual disclosure. Obviously this agreement had been grievously violated. With things already being on the frontier of acceptability to me, Nook's attempt to spin any negative emotion about the situation as being a reflection of some character flaw I possessed pushed me over the edge.

The attraction was effectively killed, at least for the time being. We eventually managed a much less involved situation that served as a pleasant something, sometimes. I surrendered to the idea that until I was ready to take something very seriously this was the sort of situation I was likely to continue facing. I went back to chatting with different Thai girls, dating some, running away from others, but without going out of my way to anticipate “the one”.

I had the best luck when I was open to the experience of love or real closeness, but not so eager I tried to force it on the situation. The online Bangkok sex scene opens the field a whole lot, for men and women, and with so much competition everyone is more hesitant to move anything too quickly. If they aren't they're desperate to grab on to someone, and there can be a lot of different motives behind that. I say try to keep an open mind, and an appointment book.

Regular Girls & Living in the City

There are three main points that you need to understand about regular Bangkok girls:

  • If you want a proper relationship with a respectable girl then you are going to need to convince her that you are a respectable man. That means you can forget about the usual nightlife attractions because decent Bangkok girls know full well what goes on there, and they will not entertain the idea of involvement with anyone that frequents such places.
  • If you think that it’s a good idea to pretend to be something that you are not, in order to get one of the good girls into bed, think again. Thais will absolutely hate this with a vengeance, and you will place yourself at serious risk of retaliation from the girl’s family.
  • If you are honest about your intentions, and all you want is a lot of casual sex and fun times, then there are plenty of options on the online dating sites to find that. The girls there are usually very friendly, and fun times are easily arranged.

Appearances & tastes

In appearance Bangkok girls tend to be a little taller and fairer skinned than the ladies that you’ll find in Pattaya. Pattaya has a large body of girls who originate from the rural northeast of Thailand where petite, darker skinned people are the norm.

Obviously there is a vast amount of variety in a cosmopolitan place like Bangkok, but the ladies who originate from the big city do tend to have slightly more western-like features i.e. fairer skin, longer legs and more curves.

To my eyes, the best looking Bangkok girls are amongst the most beautiful women in the world.

Another point worth considering is that the typical cuisine that the ladies of Bangkok prefer to eat is more akin to the sort of Thai food that you find in the west. Personally I find it much more palatable than the food that Pattaya girls tend to go for (which is often Laos food rather than Thai).

On the other hand, if you like to eat bugs, or you like your food spicy enough to melt your teeth, then feel free to ignore this particular piece of advice :)

Living in Bangkok

The modern city is nothing like the old-world images that might be jumping into your head, and I do admit to being a little disappointed that this is the case. Bangkok is fast becoming just another urban metropolis with the same high-street brand names that you’ll see scattered around all over Europe and North America but, at the same time, the city does still have a charm and character of its own.

For a more general overview of the city, check out this Wikitravel article.

Bangkok retains a unique cultural heritage.

At any rate, when you are living in Bangkok rather than merely visiting the place, you’ll come to appreciate the modern comforts and amenities that economic development has brought.

Old world nostalgia is a fine thing, but for most expats and long term visitors it definitely takes a bow compared to things like modern healthcare, cuisine, infrastructure, transport and the rest.

If the allure of Bangkok girls has got you thinking about retirement in Thailand, or perhaps a career relocation, you needn’t worry too much about costs. By way of comparison, it is still a lot cheaper than most major western cities – estimated at not much more than a third of the overall cost of living in London or New York.

Bangkok is every bit the modern metropolis, and life there is often crowded and hectic. Add to that the stifling heat and humidity at certain times of the year and you’ve got a place that can easily drive you nuts.

If you want to meet a lady for serious romance, online dating is a better place to start than a disco in Pattaya. The tourist focused bars are no good for meeting the love of your life, but there are alternatives online at:

My Recommended Dating Site

Speaking of driving, I’d advise anyone to avoid it, it isn’t necessary and it can cause problems. I can personally assure you that driving through downtown Bangkok during rush-hour is no fun at all, it’s total gridlock and no-one gives an inch!

When driving you have no option but to force your way into tiny gaps and, in the event of an accident, you can be sure that you will be blamed whether it’s your fault or not.

I’ve even heard of a westerner that witnessed a traffic accident as he was driving along; having some medical training he stopped to make sure everyone was okay. By the time the police arrived the two Thai drivers involved had concocted a story that laid the blame squarely on the westerner.

Presumably, neither of the Thai drivers had any car insurance and they assumed that the westerner would have it… and so they were going after a pay-out.

Luckily, Taxis are an extremely cheap alternative, and there’s also the option of the sky-train for getting around town (although it does get crowded).

Bangkok girls and a desirable residence

Approaching Bangkok girls with romantic intent is very easy to do compared to the west, because it is virtually risk-free with regard to embarrassing yourself.

I’ve written extensively about how best to approach regular Thai girls and the advice that I’ve bring results that you’ve never experienced anywhere else on Earth. To check this out have a read of my Thai dating strategy it more or less guarantees success.

If you do end up in a serious romantic relationship with a lady from Bangkok, and you start thinking of a life together, there’s another benefit to being in the city in that it is home to all the best hospitals and schools.

You might not be planning on hearing the patter of tiny feet anytime soon, but Bangkok girls are no different to girls the world over i.e. they nearly always want to have children at some point… such is the folly of women :)

Bangkok skylineThe modern Bangkok skyline is a thing of beauty.

I mentioned that avoiding the red light areas is important if you want to protect your business or professional reputation, this is equally true when it comes to your prospects for dating regular Bangkok girls. Gossip travels very quickly in the big city and you’ll probably be ratted out by someone if you try to date a regular lady whilst having a reputation for bringing short-time girls back from the naughty bars!

The problem is so serious that, even if you have led a life of celibacy, you’ll still struggle to attract any of the good girls if you merely live too close to a red light district, so avoid this mistake by making a more respectable part of the city your home.

If you do see girls from the naughty areas, do yourself a favor and keep them away from your home. There are plenty of cheap hotels in Bangkok that rent rooms by the hour, and using them will help protect your reputation.

One of the best areas of the city to pitch your tent is upper Sukhumvit, but don’t mistake this area for lower Sukhumvit as that’s where the biggest red light areas are found.

I haven't written anything here about Khao San Road as it isn't technically a naughty boy destination, but I'd regard it is a similar manner as far as your reputation is concerned and avoid living near to it if you value your reputation. For details on the scene there, have a look at my report on Khao San Road Nightlife.

In upper Sukhumvit you’ll be amongst some of the most respectable western men in the city. You’ll still be within easy reach of all the best parts of the city and the rental prices are a bit more manageable too.

Any respectable Thai girl who has an interest in dating western men will be impressed by a guy that lives in a respectable area such as upper Sukhumvit… provided that he has NEVER been seen by prying eyes in the company of any promiscuous ladies of the night!

If you have been seen before then you can expect her to find out about it sooner or later, such is the strength of the grapevine in Thailand. When she does find out, that will be the end of any romantic ambitions that you may have been cultivating.

If it seems like I’m focusing a little too much on the benefits of living in the city with regard to the regular Bangkok girls that you can meet there, as opposed to the working girls that you could meet up with, be aware that it is for a good reason. I believe that the main selling point for Bangkok, in terms of the opposite sex, is all about serious relationships.

Lower Sukhumvit, BangkokThis is lower Sukhumvit, just a few miles further along is upper Sukhumvit.

If you just want to lead a more carefree lifestyle without taking on any commitments then the bar scene does have a lot to offer, but in that case I’d advise you to take a look at living in Pattaya instead. It’s quite a lot cheaper and it has many more options for that sort of thing whilst still having lots of other none-nightlife-related stuff to keep you entertained.

Working in Bangkok & Visa options

For younger expats and long-term visitors, Bangkok has a distinct advantage in that it is where most of the expat jobs are based. This is going to be an important consideration if you are aged under 50 and still need to work for a living because, unfortunately, retirement visas are unavailable to you.

Getting a long-term tourist visa will not entitle you to work in Thailand, and whilst there are a lot of expats scraping a living as ‘digital nomads’ i.e. people making a living from their blogs, YouTube channels, freelance writing and so on, they aren’t technically supposed to be doing this in Thailand as it does constitute working without a permit.

It is a bit of a grey area though.

At one time, western visitors would hop over the border every 30 days to renew their visa, but that practice was stamped out a few years ago. More recently, the 6 month multiple entry tourist visa was introduced, replacing the old 3 entry visa, and bringing in new requirements to prove that you have a sizable bank-balance and an income that can support you during your stay in Thailand… that will probably keep a lot of digital nomads out of Thailand for anything longer than a fairly brief visit.

The only real alternative for these younger guys is to find formal employment in Thailand and for all but a lucky few that usually means teaching English language (assuming that you have the required qualifications). You can get some reasonably well-paid jobs teaching English once you’ve built up some experience, and this will entitle you to a work permit that allows you to stay in Thailand.

The point is that it’s in Bangkok that you usually find the best opportunities for this.

Contrary to popular opinion, Thai girls make excellent wives if you choose wisely. But don't select a long-term partner from a tourist area and hope for the best, it's far too risky. There are much better options online at:

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Living in Bangkok as an English teacher will not put you on the rich list anytime soon, but it is regarded as a respectable occupation, and it will open some doors for you as regards your romantic ambitions for meeting regular Bangkok girls (many of whom would love some free lessons!).

Of course, if you are over 50 and have the necessary retirement funds in place, you needn’t worry about any of this. You’ll be able to get a retirement visa and live wherever you want.

Bangkok vs. Pattaya

Bangkok vs. Pattaya comparisons are useful in so far as they detail what each of these cities excel at. I don’t think that there’s an overall winner as it’s a bit like comparing apples and oranges, but it is useful to keep a few points in mind to distinguish the two when it comes to meeting and dating Thai girls.

Bangkok and its major selling points:

1. Sky Bars

If you want beauty and refinery then there’s no doubt that the Bangkok nightlife scene has a lot more to offer than Pattaya. There are some refined places in Pattaya, the Hilton hotel and other top hotels for example, but Bangkok wins this particular battle. The sky bars in Bangkok set a scenery that stands up well against anything in the world.

The sky bar at the Lebua hotel is the best known of these, due to being featured in the ‘Hangover 2’ movie, but there are many more and the Lebua isn’t even my favorite. That award currently goes to the ‘Vertigo and Moon Bar’ that sits on top of the Banyan Tree hotel.

The food options at these top hotels is also outstandingly good, so the dining options are next up on the list selling points. Be aware that for romantic dinner-date purposes, most of the eligible women in Bangkok would be quite uncomfortable in one of these high-class restaurants, and it’s usually a better idea to let the lady choose where to eat.

Banyan Tree, BangkokVertigo and Moon Bar, at the Banyan Tree

2. Dining Options

One of the big selling points that favors the big city in the Bangkok vs. Pattaya showdown is the quality of the food that is available at the upper end of the scale. If you enjoy fine dining at a fraction of western prices then Bangkok is an absolute winner.

As an Englishman I do understand that you might have some reservations about my judgement when it comes to quality cuisine... English food, for a long time, was utterly abysmal and I’m the first to admit it! With that said, the English have prided themselves on the traditional Sunday roast and I think it stands up quite nicely when done well.

The best Sunday roast that I have ever eaten (including anything my mum ever cooked up) was served to me at the ‘Huntsman Pub’ located on the basement floor of the Landmark hotel in Bangkok. I kid you not, it was outstandingly good and highly recommended.

From what I’ve read, the Huntsman doesn’t even warrant an ‘also-ran’ mention in the battle for very best dining options in Bangkok, so the really good ones must be the stuff of legend.

3. Long-Term Dating

I’ve long recommended the big city as the best choice for those guys who are seeking a base of operations from which to conduct their long-term romantic endeavors.

Any Bangkok vs. Pattaya comparison here needs to be split right down the middle between those guys who are looking for a serious love interest and those guys who just want a holiday girlfriend. Bangkok is best for the former, Pattaya for the latter.

Bangkok girls are somewhat less traditional in their views and much more familiar with western guys than rural ladies, but the ladies in Pattaya are even more familiar… a little too familiar :)

The big city is a very cosmopolitan place and not just in terms of the different nationalities of people who visit/live there. There are lots of foreign businessmen and professionals in Bangkok, and Thai attitudes towards these guys are much more conducive to winning the hearts of regular decent girls in Bangkok.

The bad news stories that you hear/read about failed Thai/Western relationships usually stem from relationships that started out in one of the Bangkok red light areas, or pretty much anywhere in Pattaya, so avoid these areas if you want true-love.

Pattaya and its major selling points:

1. Bar Girls & Nightlife

Everyone who has been to Pattaya knows full well that the extent of the nightlife scene, in terms of beer bars and bar girls, far overshadows anything that Bangkok has to offer. There are literally tens of thousands of working-girls in Pattaya and you’ll easily meet them in the beer bars and a-go-go bars in the city.

For the time being Pattaya remains the party capital of the world and the options for meeting girls are endless. There are moves by the authorities to clean up the city’s seedy image but so far this has not spoiled the fun too much.

The all-important girlfriend experience is still available but it is slowly disappearing. Some bar girls, and even some street workers, will refuse ‘long-time’ offers until really late at night, and getting one to join you for a week or two is becoming prohibitively expensive.

2. Beaches

Clearly you aren’t going to get any beaches in Bangkok as it isn’t a coastal city, and the main Pattaya beach has long been an object of ridicule and disgust. The main Pattaya beach is not a good option if comparing it to the best offerings in Thailand, but it is still an option, so it wins the Bangkok vs. Pattaya battle by default in this regard.

Actually, once you put on your walking flip-flops and start exploring the area you’ll come across some decent beaches in Pattaya. My favourite mainland beach used to be Cosy Beach in Pratumnak, but that has become a bit too popular with tourists (mainly Russian) and so it has lost its feel of seclusion.

My current favourite mainland beach in Pattaya is found just to the north of the main beach, it’s called Wong Amat beach and it is a good choice. You don’t get hassled by hawkers so much, the beach is deeper and cleaner, beach massage options are better, it’s quieter because there is no road running along it, and I recommend it if you like chill out by the sea during daylight hours with your holiday-girlfriend.

3. Lower Cost of Living

I nearly listed this entry as ‘low’ cost of living but settled on lower...

It is true that the basic costs of life, e.g. accommodation, food and essentials, are still really low. However, once you start enjoying the nightlife options that Pattaya is famous for then costs can quickly start spiraling out of control.

Long gone are the days that followed the Asian financial crisis in the late 90s when exchange rates were so good for westerners that you just didn’t need to worry about costs in Thailand – the main cost was the flight that brought you here...

Things really turned on their head when the west had its own financial crisis in 2007-08. Exchange rates dramatically worsened and all of a sudden people needed to check their bank balances ahead of a night out.

Costs have further risen over the past couple of decades due to economic development in Thailand, and resulting alternative career options for the girls. Prices in Thai baht have risen sharply irrespective of exchange rates, and the rises have been particularly acute in the naughty nightlife scene.

However, whichever way you cut it, the Bangkok vs. Pattaya comparison is still going to show that Pattaya is a much cheaper option than Bangkok… it’s just not as cheap as it was.

Final Thoughts

As I’ve maintained throughout the article, Bangkok girls are a really good option for anyone who is interested in serious Thai dating, and I give them my top recommendation for finding a lasting romance in the land of smiles.

If you like your ladies to be a little taller, fairer-skinned, and a little less strict about traditional Thai cultural values, then you will appreciate the advantages that the big city has to offer.

The last word has to be (and please excuse the shameless self-promotion) that if you choose to follow my Thai dating strategy, and use it to target Bangkok girls specifically, it will put you miles ahead of the game and open doors for you that most western guys never reach.

This lovely petite young lady, 28 years old and only 47kg, is looking for a western man to be her boyfriend. If you would like to meet up with girls just as lovely, you can with

My Recommended Dating Site: