Pattaya Hookers
(How to misread them)

In this article about Pattaya hookers I’m going to present to you a story that was handed to me by a freelance writer – a guy called Graeme who has lived in sin-city for many years. I’m not presenting it to you for the wisdom of his words, quite the reverse.

You see, poor Graeme simply has not got a clue!

It’s an entertaining read and I don’t doubt the author’s sincerity, but at some point you have to learn the lessons that the local ladies teach us… At the end of the story you’ll find my notes on where I think this guy has been misled.

Anyway, here it is.

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A Pattaya Hooker True Story

By Graeme (from Pattaya)

Some guys hang around beaches looking for Pattaya hookers – freelance girls that work on their own terms. The beach where I was sitting doesn’t get many of these girls though; maybe the odd one, but not often because it is more of a family beach.

I was watching the sun go down, drinking an ice-cold beer and listening to music when a tall slim Thai girl, dressed in black, walks past me, smiling. She nods and gives the usual ‘Sawadee ka‘ (hello)

“Hello” I replied, “you ok, what you do?” I was interested.
“Look for boyfriend, he come soon, I see you tomorrow.”

And, with that, she was off. I saw her climb onto the back of a farang (Caucasian foreigner) driven motorbike and thought nothing more of it.

By the next evening she was back, still dressed in black, sort of like the Thai equivalent of a female Johnny Cash – but far prettier.

I certainly wasn’t looking to spend any time with any of the Pattaya hookers that I’d seen around town, but this girl caught my imagination. She Wai’d me with a ‘Sawadee Ka’ and sat herself down beside me. We talked some small-talk, as you do, and then I asked where her boyfriend was.

“I finish with him.” she replies.
“Things are looking up,” I think.
“Why you finish with boyfriend?”
“He want too much boom boom (sex) me” she says.
“You not like boom boom?” I ask, not really wanting to hear the answer. It might be in the negative and where do I go with that?
“I like” – relief – “but he want two times every day, sometimes three times. I not do, he yak yak (nags) me.”
“Where boyfriend come from?” I ask.
She replies “He Italian man.”

‘I read in book,’ I tell her, ‘that Italian men, when they have boom boom, stop halfway through and look in mirror to see if they still look sexy.’

Her mouth dropped open and she looked at me incredulously. “YES!’ she squealed. ‘He do. How you know that?’ and peeled into shrieks of laughter. ‘How you know he do?’ she asked again.

“Oh; I just read about it somewhere.’

It was actually on a toilet wall that I read about it. On a poster that depicted sexual positions of men - depending of their origins. The Italian guy was there, in the saddle and combing his hair, looking in a hand mirror at the same time.

I daren’t say what the depiction of the Australian was but it was something to do with kangaroos.

In fact, none of us westerners were painted in a flattering light, but it amused me for a time.

Well after that ‘sharing’ we got on very well. She was from a small village near the city of Phichit, directly north of Bangkok. She had two children, a boy and a girl, and her mama was looking after both of them.

She stayed with me, on and off, for about eight weeks. She kept her own room down in Jomtien, which was a godsend as she was quite intense and, I think, a little bit mad – at least as crazy as me.

Whenever I needed a break, which was often, she’d trot off to her room and come back when I called her. All very civil and cozy.

Now I know that the Italian guy (Luigi) had been good to her. They’d been together for two years and, whilst Luigi might have wanted it more than most, he gave more than most also. He was besotted by her.

I thought it was very ‘quid pro quo’.

He must have given her heaps of money because she had a car that he’d apparently supplied the money for, and her clothing, and accessories, all black, were top-end and certainly not bought from the Soi Buakhao market where a lot of Pattaya hookers do their shopping.

Also, she always had money in her purse.

Luigi would send emails and ‘Messenger’ and ‘Link’ her all day long. Her phone ‘pinged’ constantly. Every so often he’d deposit money, never less than 20,000 baht and once 50,000 baht, into her bank account as a sort of bribe to ‘come back’, which she did. And then she’d return, dripping with gold bracelets and necklaces.

Poor old Luigi.

She was fleecing him like you wouldn’t believe but, as far as I was concerned, he’d been in Thailand long enough to know what was going on. I just thought ‘good on her and bad luck Luigi – but you’ll come to your senses soon.’

But he didn’t come to his senses.

She’d go back to him for three or four days. Then go back to her room leaving poor old Luigi groveling. He’d put some more money into her bank account, on the condition that she came back, and back she’d go for another three or four days before leaving again.

It was a continuing merry-go-round which Luigi wasn’t getting off.

I often wonder if her actions could be construed as being typical of Pattaya’s ‘finest’ but most of the Thai hookers out there are not as sophisticated as her. They’d just take the money and run, and if she was a hooker she wouldn’t be giving it to me for free.

A Typical Scam

One day she called me from Chonburi Police Station.

She had been driving her car and hit a guy on a motorbike. A policeman had come but she didn’t have a license, so the cop takes her to the police station and gives her a choice – go to the ‘monkey house’ (Thai term for jail) or pay 50,000 baht.

25,000 for the guy she hit and 25,000 for the cop - who will turn his head.

I couldn’t help her. I didn’t have that sort of money.

“Ring Italian man.” I say.
“I not with him anymore.” -  Surprise, surprise.
“When you leave him?” I asked.
“Yesterday.”
“I think you’d better phone him.”
“Okay.”

And sure enough, Luigi comes to the rescue.

A few weeks later she calls. She’s left Luigi (again), sold the car, spent the money and is going to start working in a bar on Soi 6 – the most notorious and sordid of all the sois in Pattaya, possibly the world!

That is where the ‘short-time’ Pattaya hookers work from; it’s a bit like a cattle-market and definitely not the sort of place you want anyone who’s a friend, or an enemy even, to have to go to work. I could tell by her voice that she was apprehensive about her new ‘job.’ She rang me the day after her first day on the job.

“You do good last night?” I asked.
“No. I boxing customer, his nose blood.”

I shriek with laughter and nearly fall off my chair. She giggles. From what I could gather, a potential customer had bought her a drink and, in the course of ‘negotiations’ he groped her. This is pretty standard for some of the half-pissed guys trying to get laid in Pattaya.

Most Isaan girls, especially those on Soi 6, just shrug it off and get on with making money. Not her; she’s not from Isaan.  She took exception to the advance and ‘bopped’ the guy on the nose. She’s not going to make it in ‘the trade’. ‘Pattaya Hookers Incorporated’ are going to have to do without her.

“What Mamasan say” I asked.
“She not happy” (I bet she wasn’t, I thought. You’re there to take money from the customers. Not beat them up.)
“But we talk, she understand he not good man. I not go back.” she says.

We kept in touch. She drifted between Pattaya and Phichit and at one stage she even had a job as a maid in one of the hotels. That ended when she slipped whilst doing some cleaning there, badly spraining her ankle, and having to take some time off – goodbye job.

There’s no such thing as workers ‘sick leave’ here and there’s lots of women looking to take her place.

I’m not sure where she got her money. Probably Luigi. Maybe freelancing along Beach Road in Jomtien.

I don’t know. I know she had a Thai boyfriend, a motorbike taxi driver, for a short time. She told me he gave her 500 baht a day. Then she found out he was married and that was the end of that.

About a week before I started writing this story I heard from her again. She was at home in Phichit and was coming down to Jomtien for a few days. Could she stay with me? Sure!

She came and the next morning, lying in bed, she says:

“Italian man want me go back.” I laugh and ask:
“How much he give you?” We giggle like two conspirators – which I suppose, is what we are.
“50,000 baht. I open small mini mart in my home.”
Good on you Luigi, I think. Bloody great! I’m delighted for her.
“He buy me new car too I think.”

Only in Thailand.

She’s hooked him big time! But she’s not a hooker, not in the traditional sense. She, like so many girls in Thailand from poor areas, just wants to feed her family. She has an eye for the ‘main chance’ and was fortunate enough, two years ago, to meet an Italian guy who loves her.

Three days later I get a phone call: “I go back to my home now. Italian man give me money. I open mini mart.” You’re a good man Luigi.

The End

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Before I get into ripping this apart, I should let you know that you can get a more reliable idea of how to handle Pattaya hookers by reading my main articles:

• Pattaya Girls in 2020, Services and Fun

• Thai Hooker Safety, Ethics & Prices
  

Editorial Notes

First of all, let me just state that I’m amazed, and disgusted, by Graeme’s apparent delight at the way this girl has conned poor Luigi.

It seems blatantly obvious that this woman is a manipulative, lying gold-digger, and Graeme seems okay with that. It’s as if he thinks it is okay for hookers in Pattaya to behave in such a manner.

Now don’t misunderstand me, I fully understand that a lot of these ladies are under enormous pressure to do whatever they must to extract as much cash as they can.

But, for a western guy to delight in the deception and financial stripping of a fellow westerner just sickens me and, for some demented reason, this sort of gloating is actually quite common.

I’m also at a loss to imagine why the author seems to think that anything he himself has been told by this hooker has even a single element of truth to it. I think that if he were able to speak to Luigi directly he’d learn a very different side to this story.

His idea that most Pattaya hookers would “take the money and run” when a customer is besotted and happy to keep stumping up future payments is just inexplicable nonsense. These girls will never run from a situation like that!

Am I reading this correctly… this “sophisticated lady” went to work at a bar on Soi 6? She doesn’t sound at all sophisticated to me.

The 500 baht per day from the Thai boyfriend sounds like another lie. Pattaya hookers give money to their Thai boyfriends – not the other way around!

The idea that a motorbike-taxi driver would actually give money to his hooker girlfriend is laughable – Thai guys only put up with this line of work because they gain from it financially.

The whole claim was probably engineered just to put the idea into your head that for 500 baht per day she’d stay with you.

I also think that the police encounter smells fishy.

Pattaya hookers are renowned for concocting opportunities for westerners to be a ‘knight in shining armor’ by stumping up with a pile of cash, and this time it was a pile of cash that she was looking at the author to provide!

I suspect that she gave Luigi a similar story and that he also refused her the cash. That would explain why she sold the car – in order to raise money for whatever purpose.

Only one thing is for sure, Pattaya hookers like this lady are not trustworthy and, when getting too involved with them, trouble will surely follow. How a time-served expat like Graeme has failed to learn the first thing about these ladies really is truly astonishing.

This lovely petite young lady, 28 years old and only 47kg, is looking for a western man to be her boyfriend. If you would like to meet up with girls just as lovely, you can with

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