Another westerner has joined the infamous ‘Pattaya flying club’ after jumping to his death from his 18th floor condominium balcony. John Toms was 68 year old retired British businessman who had been finalizing his divorce from a Thai prostitute whom he met in Pattaya.
Mr Toms is reported to have blown his life-savings as well as running up vast debts in order to provide for his wife.
Clearly, the marriage did not work out well as the couple were in the final stages of divorce proceedings at the time of Mr Toms’ suicide. His now ex-wife, who has since moved to Norway to be with her current western partner, has not provided any comment on the death of her former husband.
You can read about this in the press release about Mr Toms.
Now, I know no more about this unfortunate story than has been reported in the international press about this sorry state of affairs, and I don’t intend to make any speculative comments about this particular tragedy. I have, however, long advocated abstinence from any sort of serious relationship with a lady who was met on a holiday in one of Thailand’s tourist destinations... and that goes double with regard to Pattaya girls!
Mr Toms' demise is just another example to add to the list of Pattaya flying club fatalities.
Occurrences of suicide/suspicious deaths are not uncommon amongst westerners once the unfortunate man has discovered that the supposed love of his life is in fact somewhat less than the honest, loyal, loving delight that he thought he had married.
There really are many heart-wrenching stories about Western men who have fallen prey to the ruthless actions of the wrong sort of woman.
Thai dating does not have to be this way; there are many successful stories of true-love out there. The trick is to make sure that you go about things in the right way. There are no guarantees of course, but there are things you can do to minimize your chances of being taken in by a lying trickster who is out for all she can get!
I’ve stated previously that most of the working girls in Pattaya and similar places are not necessarily bad people with evil intentions; many of them do what they do out of necessity and have no malice at all in their actions. However, that won’t spare you one ounce of heartbreak when the reality of a sham marriage bites...
There are probably plenty of commentators who will jump at this opportunity to denounce all Thai women as walking ‘black-widow’ type ladies, but that is just plain nonsense. Don’t allow your opinions of be swayed by the examples you read about in mainstream newspapers, after all, they can hardly report on the successful happy marriages can they – they aren’t news worthy!
The lesson to be learned here is that you must restrict your long-term aspirations for a loving Thai wife to that section of Thai womanhood who have never in their worst nightmares ever conceived of working as a prostitute in any of Thailand’s naughty boy destinations.
That, of course, is not quite as easy as it sounds since you won’t know the history of any lady that you meet other than the history that she imparts to you – and most former prostitutes will conceal at all costs any hint of their past employment in these red light areas!
Even so, the percentage of Thai girls that have worked in a red light area is actually very small, and most regular girls maintain a relatively traditional, conservative family life.
In February (2018) Graham Briar, one of YouTube’s up and coming vloggers, sadly passed away having fallen foul of a heart condition. It was a surprise to all that knew him and had followed his channel, because his condition was not diagnosed until late on, and it deteriorated very quickly.
He’d complained of breathlessness, tiredness and other symptoms in a few of his final videos. Then, after a medical examination at the local Thai hospital, he was informed that he needed a heart bypass and that it would cost him at least 500,000 THB...
He wasn’t insured, and it was money that he simply didn’t have!
He did the only thing that he could do under the circumstances and put out an appeal on his YouTube channel asking for help to fund his treatment. Somewhat unsurprisingly in today’s cynical world, the trolls slaughtered him. All manner of vile accusations of staging his illness in an attempt at a money-grab were thrown at him.
I mention this because it’s important to notice how quickly so many of our fellow westerners in Thailand are to pass judgement. I suspect that these individuals are projecting themselves on other people and, knowing themselves to be creatures of the lowest form, they assume that everyone else is the same.
You can be sure that same sort of people that tore a strip off Graham Briar will quickly be drawing all the wrong conclusions as to the virtues of regular Thai girls in the face of this latest incident with Mr Toms and his former spouse.
Another reason to include the comparison between Mr Toms and Mr Briar is to highlight the stark contrast between the two men in terms of the marriages. Mr Briar had a successful marriage and lived with his lovely wife ‘Pie’ and his adopted son ‘Fam’ in Chiang Rai, the rural north of Thailand.
The couple did meet in Phuket where Pie held a respectable job, and I do generally include Phuket on the list of places to avoid if you want lasting romantic success, but in this case things worked out fine.
I encourage any readers who are attracted by the lure of a new life in stress-free rural Thailand to have a look at the YouTube channel Graham & Pie, but be warned that if you watch enough of the videos then you’ll end up liking Graham, and you’ll be saddened by his demise – he was an affable gentleman.
His joy for his life and his family comes through in his videos, and once you’ve grown accustomed to his videos, you’re probably going to have a lump in your throat when his poor wife informs the channel viewers of his death.
I challenge anyone to look at the grief in Pie’s face and tell me that her love wasn’t genuine. She chose Graham despite the fact that he was practically penniless… her love for him was real, and her grief is real.
Unbelievably, one vlogger on YouTube who shall remain nameless went as far as to continue besmirching Graham’s memory even after the proof of his demise was made public!
Don’t let any spiteful fool tell you that Thai girls are no good and only interested in your money. There are plenty of tricksters out there, no doubt about that, but if you take your time and follow my Thai Dating Advice, you are much more likely to find a true-hearted woman than a devious gold-digger.
Assuming that you wish to avoid paying your membership fee to join the Pattaya Flying Club, you are well advised to keep your fantasies in fantasy-land. Pattaya is my favourite place on Earth, but it has its limits and it certainly isn’t for everyone.
Lonely-hearts in particular should steer clear of its charms...
It takes a certain type of independent character to really enjoy life in sin-city for any sustained period of time, and that is especially true if you are going to refuse to get into any kind of committed relationship. Most guys do end up in some sort of relationship whether they intended it or not, and that’s usually the start of their problems.
It’s all too easy to fall into a honey-trap and, when it happens, the beginning of the end of your love-affair with Pattaya will commence… assuming that it hasn’t already!
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