Thai Bar Girls, Sex & Fun Times

We all know that Thai bar girls are the primary attraction for a large number of single guys who come to the land of smiles, but it would be wrong to think that the only attraction to this part of the world is the ability to have sex all day long.

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Sex with these ladies is easy to arrange, but that’s true of working-girls the world over, so there’s clearly more to it than just bedroom action.

It’s not low prices either, it would probably be cheaper to use local prostitutes than to fly halfway around the world with all the associated costs. The real selling point of Thai bar girls is the quality of the long-term, girlfriend-type arrangements that can be enjoyed, but these arrangements can be risky as is explained below.

Every member of the Pattaya Tourism club gets faced with the same question, from time to time, from his various friends and family members i.e. ‘what is it about Thailand that you like so much?

It’s a loaded question of course, everyone that asks it has got the answer quite firmly and immovably positioned in their heads already, they think that it is only about the girls! I know, I know…. it’s an absolutely appalling and outrageous insinuation isn’t it!?!!?!

One inquisitor in particular stands out in my memory; a plump, frumpy, middle-aged, condescending, carcass of a woman pointedly asked me “and WHY do YOU keep going back to THAILAND?” My reply; “there are lots of reasons…. and most of them are 20 years YOUNGER and 20kgs LIGHTER than YOU!”

The weather, the food, the pace of life, and the totally different culture are all important selling points for Thailand, but I’d be lying to you if I denied that I too am more interested in Thai girls than any of those other selling points. However, I’ve learned to avoid the extremes of insanity that some guys seem to revel in.

Thai bar girlThere are some very sexy temptresses in the bars of Thailand.

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An example of utter lunacy

Every now and then you come across a news item, or a piece of hearsay, or a story, or something similar that catches your attention. Thailand being what it is, the sort of stuff that catches my attention usually falls into the category of ‘total insanity’ due to one thing or another... and there’s usually a Thai lady involved somewhere along the line.

True to form, a story caught my attention recently that involves a Western man and his chosen gift for a Thai bar girl that he was involved with.

It’s not clear how long this gentleman has been involved with this lady but, reading between the lines, it seems like he has known this girl for quite a while. He has certainly known her long enough to have mentioned that, at certain times in her past, she has lost control of her actions and gone completely off the rails with her blood boiling in rage.

He has failed to specify exactly what the nature of these episodes were, what they involved, or what led to them, but he did make it clear that they had given him some cause for concern.

Now, regarding the gift that he has bought her, you might be guessing at this point that he has bought his lady a diamond ring, or a motorbike, or perhaps a house, or some other expensive item.

Thai bar girlsThai bar girls are good fun, but don't get attached.

You’re probably thinking that I’m going to berate him for not splitting up with her instead of buying her this gift. You’d be right about that if he had bought her something of this sort, but then I probably wouldn’t be writing this article in the first place as it wouldn’t be at all unusual or worthy of writing about.

The thing is.., what he actually bought her caught my full attention, and the reason for that is because he has gone out and bought her... a gun! Sometimes words fail me.

I’m tempted to start ripping into this man for doing something that strikes me as absolute insanity, but I won’t. As I read more of his story, and the comments that had been provided by other readers, it became clear that opinion was divided as to whether or not he had done the right thing.

The case in favor of buying her the gun was that she and her family felt somewhat vulnerable in their home due to it being a bit isolated somewhere in the countryside. There had previously been a gun in the house that had belonged to a previous boyfriend, but he had taken possession of it when the relationship broke up. As far as we know there had never been any incidents involving the previous gun.

The case against buying a new gun for her, made by readers that had commented on the story, was largely based on it being a possible scam i.e. that she might sell it afterwards and pocket the money.

Very few people seemed to have picked up on the fact that she already has some history of losing control of her emotions, and that buying a gun for someone who has a history of blowing her top might lead, at some point in the future, to her blowing his top clean off its shoulders!

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I might lean a little more towards the case in favor of buying the gun if the story had mentioned a recent spate of crimes against people in their area, or if there had been threats of some sort made against the family, but there was no mention of any of this.

All the information that we have is that a Thai lady with a history of going nuts wanted a gun, and her Western boyfriend went out and duly bought her one.

Admittedly, it might be that my thoughts on this are a bit of an overreaction, gun ownership is subject to very severe controls in my home-country and I don’t know of anyone that owns one... even the Police don’t carry them.

That said, I’m going to have to go out on a limb here and advise you to avoid buying firearms for Thai bar girls that you know to have a volatile temperament – it just doesn’t appeal to me as a recipe for a successful, stress-free existence!

Of course, this is a bit of an extreme example of madness, and most horror stories between Thai bar girls and western guys unfold without any obvious turning point where an act of utter madness took things down a path to destruction. Bad decisions are usually much more subtle and impossible to pin-point… other than the initial decision to get involved at all.

To demonstrate this, the real-life example below will serve you very well.

Thai Bar Girls; A True Story

By Anonymous

I have seen plenty of Thai bar girls but I wouldn't be exaggerating if I told you that the first time I saw my future wife I was absolutely blown away. She was, without a doubt, the most exceptionally beautiful Thai girl I had seen. So much so that when she first looked at me, I looked away! I felt so shy that I couldn’t even hold her gaze...

It’s not as though I was some sort of teenage virgin or something, I was 27 at the time and full of confidence as far as the ladies go.

You can probably guess that this story is not going to lead to a ‘happily married for 20 years and never looked back’ kind of ending. I think my story is quite a common story, it’s the sort of story that lots of westerners experience with the wrong kind of Thai girls i.e. girls in Pattaya and similar places.

I met my girl whilst I was on my first ever visit to the ‘land of smiles’ and I was just about as green as it gets. I knew almost nothing about the motives of the ladies that work in the bars… I did know that they were available for take-out of course, that much is obvious.

Walking Street PattayaWalking Street in Pattaya has many bar girls to choose from.

My first week in Pattaya was full of fun, the sort of fun that 27 year old single men dream of, but after that first week I started to slow down a bit. It’s not easy to maintain a constant pace of drinking, late nights, pretty Thai bar girls and so on for much longer than a week… it takes its toll on you eventually.

About a week into my vacation I’d met a lovely girl that I ended up staying with for a few days; I put a stop to things though because I could feel myself getting a little too attached to her after just 3 days in her company!

Not possible to be falling in love after 3 days you might think, but you’d be wrong. You’ll know what I mean if you’ve had any significant previous experience with Thai bar girls, it happens a lot.

I think us westerners are suckers for the whole ‘take care of your man’ approach that some of the women employ. This girl would put toothpaste on my toothbrush for me, she’d wait for me to step out of the shower so that she could towel me down, she’d clean up after me and so on.

If you’ve only ever known western girls before then I think you'll know that this sort of treatment is a novelty to say the least. I’ll leave the appeal of it at ‘novelty value’ though, because once you’ve had this treatment enough times it actually starts to get a bit irritating if you can believe that.

Getting into a Pattaya romance...

So, I left this girl because getting seriously involved with a bar girl was definitely not something that was on my agenda. No surprise then that the very next girl I met was the one I ended up marrying.

I think that you would have forgiven my change of heart if you had seen the girl in question. I know everyone has slightly different tastes, some focus on long legs, some focus on big chests, some only care about pretty faces, but I think that most people would give this girl 10 out of 10 in the looks department overall.

For me, she was one in a million – just about perfect in a physical sense. I liked her company too, she spoke good English and had a really good sense of humour. I know now that there were endless warning signs that I should have been aware of but, like I said, it was my first trip to Thailand and I knew almost nothing. I can tell you that she was not the sort of girl you imagine Thai bar girls to be - she was polite, clear of any tattoos, feminine, softly spoken and unassuming.

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However, the first lie came out of her mouth within minutes of me meeting her! She told me that she was 23 years old, I found out a few months later that she was a mere 18 at the time. As the night wore on she told me a few unlikely stories but, to be honest, I didn't much care about it as I wasn’t exactly intending marriage at this point.

My mind was preoccupied with different intentions and I really didn’t think that calling her a liar would accelerate my chances of satisfying those intentions. Thai Bar girls lie just about as often as they talk... insisting on the truth would have cut our conversations to the bare necessities. Anyway, the plan worked a treat and the next couple of weeks were a LOT of adult fun.

Things took a serious turn about a month after I left Thailand when I got a phone call in the middle of the night. Before you jump to conclusions, no, she wasn’t asking me for money. There was no sick water buffalo or any of that nonsense. No, much better... she was pregnant!

Up to that point in my life I’d always assumed that I was the kind of chap that would have no problem whatsoever in dismissing a situation like this as being a complete S.E.P. (Douglas Adam’s joke – means somebody else’s problem). It didn’t feel like that at all though, the girl was in tears and I felt awful. I knew that being a single mother would be a massive problem for her.

On top of that, Thailand is not as wealthy as the west and denying my responsibilities would be the same as condemning the child to a life with limited opportunities. My decision was to head back to Thailand to confirm the pregnancy.

All right, the truth is that if any of the other Thai bar girls I'd met had called me with the same story I think that I would have done things differently, but this girl was tugging at my heart strings.

I spent another glorious 2 weeks with her in Thailand. She was visibly pregnant and the timing suggested that the child was conceived during our time together on my first visit. I agreed to return again as soon as I could after the child was born. At that time we would have a DNA test to prove paternity.

We had discussed marriage on my second visit to Thailand and on my third visit, 1 year and 8 days after we first met, we tied the knot (paternity being proven by this point).

My wife and I lived with our son in the UK for the next two years (on and off as she had to return to Thailand every 6 months). There’s not much to say about this time that would be of any particular interest to you, we were a normal happy family, or so I thought.

One thing that was becoming a significant problem was the financial situation I was getting into. What with visa applications, regular flights to Thailand, regular requests from the Thai family for financial assistance, along with all the usual family costs, my resources were being seriously stretched. Along with the rest of the Western world at this time I discovered a brilliant financial solution – borrow money like crazy and don’t even think about how I might one day pay it back!

I’d run up several personal loans, maxed out 4 credit cards and borrowed from my parents. I was putting all my hopes on getting promotion at work. Unfortunately, that didn’t materialize. In fact it was worse than that... once the 2007 financial meltdown kicked in, I had to accept a pay freeze on my basic salary, a reduced bonus, certain allowances being cancelled, and a freeze on any chance of promotion.

I was getting close to breaking point and had to cut back on my costs, plain and simple, but try explaining to a Thai girl that you are going to need to cut back on your spending habits – it’s guaranteed to challenge your sanity!

Pattaya at nightPattaya, home of many exotic adventures into the unknown...

Don't take Thai bar girls home...

One of the first things I knew I had to do when first coming to live in the UK with my new wife was to help her get some Thai friends…, so I took her to the local Thai restaurant and got her talking with one of the waitresses in there. It’s amazing how easily Thais become friends and before long she was spending quite a bit of her time with this waitress. I was happy with that, the last thing I wanted was for her to be stuck in the house alone with the baby.

Thais are very sociable people and have a real hatred for loneliness. I wanted her to be happy in the UK, and guess what, I actually encouraged her to start having the odd girls night out just the way that young Western girls do. Our problems started when I asked her to cut back on her nights out due to my financial situation. To be honest, these nights out were becoming far too frequent regardless of the money situation.

I can’t pinpoint the time when my girl started to turn into the monster that she would eventually become. I recall one of my more humiliating memories - I actually remember thinking to myself on one occasion that if I were to drop dead suddenly, at least I would go to the grave having known what it was to be truly loved by someone.

I’ve had my share of girls in my time, but none of them came close to making me feel as loved as this girl did during our first few years together. I know now of course that there couldn’t ever have been any real affection from her, not considering how things were to develop.

I cracked down on her nights out by refusing to give her any money to go drinking. Did that stop her? Not a chance! She carried on going out (about 4 nights a week by this time) claiming that she was only having an odd drink and that her friends would pay for her. We started arguing a lot during this period...

The first of our 2 break-ups came when she went out promising to be back by 11pm; it was sometime after 3am when she finally strolled in and I was furious. She’d switched her telephone off during the night and she’d come back (drunk) and trying to put her arms around me as if all was right with the world.

I honestly don’t understand what happened to make her change from being the loving, caring, loyal girl that she once was, into this utterly selfish cow! I wasn’t going to stand for it anyway, I booted her out.

I knew one of her Thai female friends would let her stay with her for a while so it wasn’t like I was kicking her out onto the streets. My parents were fantastic in offering to take care of our child for me whilst I was deciding what to do. I took her back after a few days of her constantly telephoning and sending SMS messages full of apologies and promises that she would change, but by this time I'd done my research and was fully aware that this is a common trait of Pattaya based Thai bar girls...

She didn’t change.

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The money situation continued to deteriorate and the final curtain was drawn during a visit to Thailand when I caught her actually steeling money from me. She tried to deny it at first, but the evidence was irrefutable. By finishing the relationship with her I was losing my son too. Okay, I could have fought for custody, but for what?? In the UK I would certainly lose and, in Thailand, there’s no way I could have afforded the legal expense. My heart was broken.

Hearing the truth...

Five weeks after the split up I bumped into a mutual friend of mine and the wife. Actually, she was more my wife’s friend than mine, but I think that she felt a bit sorry for me. We got talking about things and 3 hours later my eyes were well and truly opened.

Whilst I had been cutting back on my spending, my lovely wife had not only been going out and living it up, she’d been flashing the cash around and buying drinks for her friends too. That’s on the occasions that she was actually going out with her friends... it turns out that, more often than not, she was meeting up with other men and sleeping around. What do they say about taking Thai bar girls out of the bar...

You have to understand, for the longest time I never suspected a thing. I genuinely believed that, whatever else she was guilty of, her affection and her romantic loyalty towards me were total. I never believed for a moment the extent to which she was betraying me. To say that I was devastated wouldn’t even come close to what I was feeling.

It wasn’t just the fact that she was throwing my remaining cash away and sleeping around, the manner in which she did it was something like the way you would treat someone you utterly hate. She even used to joke with our child, in Thai language, that she was going out to sleep with other men whilst I was staying in babysitting. She’d then have a good laugh about that with her friends.

In Thailand the concept of ‘losing face’ is taken far more seriously than in the West, but my wife had absolutely no concern for me losing face whatsoever – quite the reverse in fact. She wasn’t just cheating on me, she would get me to take her places were she knew that several of her lovers would also be – places were she knew that these people would be having a really good laugh at me because they’d had my wife.

Even on Christmas day during our second year together she’d cheated on me. We went, with the baby, for an early evening Christmas dinner and a few drinks. Her friends (some single and some with husbands) were there too. They all knew what was going on.

When we walked in the restaurant I spotted three or four men looking at me and laughing amongst themselves. I thought nothing of it at the time, I just passed it off as a group of guys having a few beers and a laugh. Some of them had already been with my wife and later that night one of them would have her again whilst I was, once again, back home babysitting.

I don’t know if anyone reading this has ever been through anything similar, but I can tell you it is absolutely soul destroying. You actually start to hate yourself for being such a blind fool.

RCA BangkokThe discos at RCA in Bangkok is popular with regular Thai ladies.

Hindsight

It has been a few years now since all this ended. The money situation is slowly recovering, but I’ve never been able to see my son again. I got a divorce shortly after that revealing chat with our mutual friend. The divorce was settled in Thailand and the terms demanded no further financial support from me. The wife knew that I was broke and she needed the divorce to go through without a hiccup – presumably so that she would be free to marry again and destroy some other poor sod’s life in the same way that she destroyed mine.

Her knowledge that I was already financially broke didn’t stop her from threatening me that I’d never see my son again if I didn’t give her 20,000 baht every month. I’ve come to realise that losing that evil witch was a bit like having a cancer cut out of my life. Thank God and good riddance, but I’m never going to feel anything but pain and sorrow over the loss of my wonderful son. I can only hope that one day he will want to know my side of whatever story he has be given about his dad.

Editorial Note about this story

This is a typical story about Thai bar girls who are involved in relationships with western men; I've heard many just like it or worse. My thanks and my thoughts go out to the author and I wish him well for the future.

For any readers who find themselves in a similar position, make sure you read my advice about Thai bar girls and dating closely because the information therein will help you to avoid falling victim to these sorts of women.

Long Term Happiness

In Thailand, it’s better to make use of all the wonderful opportunities that are on offer and spread your wings rather than settle down with a working-girl. These words are ridiculously obvious and for anyone who hasn’t been to Thailand and experienced the temptations on offer, you may think it unworthy to make such a statement of the obvious.

The number of true horror stories, on the other hand, is testimony to need for such obvious words. Fill your hands and indulge yourself, but don’t let your emotions rule you.

If you want something more serious then look for it online or in locations far away from the naughty girls. Some guys would have you believe that finding a loyal Thai lady is impossible, but that is horseshit, and it usually comes from the mouths of sex tourists who have been burned by hooker…

When enjoying the single life, always make sure that each girl understands your intentions. Be completely honest and tell them that you are a 'butterfly' and don’t want a girlfriend. One of the worst things you can do, and one of the most heartless, is let a girl think that you are going to be her boyfriend if you have no intention of being so.

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Another good way of reducing her intentions on hooking you as a boyfriend is to tell her that you don’t have much money and can’t take care of her all the time. I can almost guarantee that she'll still want to keep seeing you on an ‘every now and then’ basis.

Some people avoid getting serious because they don’t want to fall in love, and they decide not to see any girl more than a certain number of times, or they move on as soon as they feel themselves starting to develop any sort of emotional attachment.

I don’t think this is completely necessary; if you like someone it’s fine and you should keep seeing her, just make sure that you are also seeing other girls too as that should hold any particular attachment to one girl in check.

After you’ve stayed in a naught area for a while and you’ve built up a list of ladies you’re entertaining, you’ll find yourself starting to tread new pathways in and around the city so as to avoid bumping into people. It can be fun carrying on this juggling act but you should make sure that you keep your Thai bar girls separate.

Even though each will know that you are a butterfly, that doesn’t mean that they will want to meet your other ladies!

The naughty nightlife that many men dream of enjoying for a lifetime is not always everyone’s long-term happiness solution. It is only right for a relatively small proportion of men; in particular those men who genuinely don’t want a girlfriend or wife. Most men do seem to desire serious commitment from their lady friends, and that makes the naughty nightlife incompatible with long-term happiness.

For those men who value their own company, and who don’t want family problems to deal with, and that prefer the commitment-free lifestyle, these guys may well find that life in a naughty nightlife centered place like Pattaya does offer long-term contentment.

I’ll be honest though, it seems to me that most men don’t want these things after a while of having them. If this happens to you, you'll probably start wanting something more serious, and my recommended dating sites are worth a look at that point.

It’s a bit like the old adage – you only really want the things in life that you can’t have – with Thai bar girls, all the things that you can’t usually have are readily available and after a while the novelty does wear off. Where does that leave you... looking for someone for a permanent relationship and, like I said, you really shouldn’t do that with anyone from the naughty nightlife scene.


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