For the most part Pattaya bar girls are a bunch of happy, friendly, fun-loving girls. You will enjoy their company, and they will make a big impression on you. Don't get carried away though, and always remember that when you are in Pattaya you are in fantasy land.
If you have never been to Pattaya before, I can almost guarantee that you will leave the place wondering if you have found your one true love, and you will almost certainly start planning your next trip to Thailand before you have finished your current trip!
However, you may be aware that most things here are not quite as they might at first appear, and this is especially true when it comes to romance with the ladies of Thailand.
If you are going to be enjoying the nightlife of sin city, most of the Pattaya bar girls that you will meet there are experts at working their way into a man’s affections.
If you get romantically involved with one of these ladies then, at some point, you’re going to have to ask yourself how likely it is that your new found love has really developed the affection for you that she will surely make you feel.
Is it really a coincidence that it just happens to be her game-plan to make her customers feel this way? Wait a moment I here you say, what game-plan am I talking about? Let me explain a little more about this...
Think about the typical salaries that the girls earn.
Most work for a monthly income of no more than about 10,000 baht. Add to that their share of the lady-drink mark-up and you are up to no more than 15,000 baht. Money from accompanying customers might bring in another 20,000 depending on the beauty of the girl (20,000 assumes one customer every 3 days averaged over the year) making a total income of about 45,000 baht per month.
That's already excellent money compared to other unskilled work in Thailand.
But I’m not done yet, there is another income stream to consider i.e. they can also be getting money sent to them from overseas by previous customers! These guys are commonly referred to as ‘sponsors’. Do NOT become a sponsor… it’s a well-trodden path with nothing but trouble along it!
Many Pattaya girls are hoping to get involved with a Westerner who will 'sponsor' them. They might promise that a few thousand baht per month is all that they need to be able to stop their work and head back home to get a normal job and await your return.
In reality, the vast majority of beer-bar girls will string along as many unsuspecting western boyfriends as they possibly can with line of bullshit. It’s very unlikely that any realistic amount of money will be enough to make her stop her work in the sex trade.
The more she earns, the more she will want!
If a girl can get half a dozen boyfriends (sponsors) sending them as little as 8,000 baht per month each; that adds up to 48,000 baht on top of the 45,000 she earns herself. That's 93,000 baht per month in total, and many girls make a lot more than that.
It is not uncommon for some girls to be receiving upwards of 30,000 each month from a single sponsor and still the girl continues working!
How exactly are these bar girls going to lure these sponsors in? Simple, by pretending to fall hopelessly in love with them, and doing absolutely everything they can to make sure that the customer has as good a time with them as is possible.
It's surprising how good they are at it.
Don't misunderstand me though; if you are looking for a girl to stick with for a few days, you will most likely be better off with Pattaya bar girls rather than a gogo girl or other prostitute. It is precisely because of the bar girl's game-plan that you will have the time of your life.
I'm not suggesting that all of the girls are the same, a tiny minority are genuine, lovely and loyal girls…. and that's part of the problem! You won't know if you've found your dream girl, or if you've just been tricked into thinking you have!
It really is best to play safe here, the number of girls with real long-term relationship potential are only a very small fraction of the total girls working in the bars.
Most Pattaya bar girls will cater for your every whim. They will take care of you in ways you won't expect. If you want to have a laugh with your drinking buddies, no problem, she'll sit patiently, and quietly, waiting for you. If you want her to join in with the laughter, she'll play along.
After you have finished your drinking session, and gone back to your hotel, your lady will happily indulge your every pleasure.
In the morning when you step out of the shower, don't be surprised if she is waiting for you so that she can dry you down with a towel. Whilst she is drying you, you will probably notice that all the clothes you threw on the floor are now neatly folded and stacked.
In short, Pattaya bar girls will make you feel that their only need in life is to be by your side where they can take care of all your needs. Enjoy the fantasy while it lasts, but don't let it go to your head or trouble will most likely be just around the corner. By way of an example of this, have a good read of this harrowing true story:
If you are new to Thailand/Pattaya, you might be amazed to know that the sweet little angel you just spent a few passionate days with might well already have a Thai boyfriend, or even a husband whom she loves!
What's more, the husband might know full well what his wife has been doing, and be encouraging her to do it so that he can spend the money that you have given her.
If you like your women to have a confident, talkative, outgoing sort of personality then you are particularly at risk of heartbreak with a Pattaya bar girl. Outside of Pattaya, and the other tourist areas, Thailand is a very conservative country. Most people, and especially young women, are naturally quiet, calm, shy and reserved.
Many bar girls are the opposite of this and have probably had a lot of experience with western men, and that means a lot of experience as a prostitute. It's a lifestyle that takes its toll, not just physically after all the drinking night after night, but also mentally.
It’s not easy maintaining a constant façade of happiness and friendliness!
Many Pattaya girls use drugs to keep themselves going, it's all bad news. Some girls enter the industry naive about the lifestyle that it will bring. At first the excitement of it all might be quite addictive but, after a few years of having their hopes dashed, they toughen up and become completely unsympathetic to the emotions of rich westerners who really ought to know better.
If your girl is quiet and shy, and doesn't seem to know the ropes, you might possibly have a chance of true love. If she is new to the job, it is possible that her good nature is still intact, but be extremely careful.
Tricksters are extremely difficult to spot, for an example click here.
If you can keep your head thinking straight, you can have a fantastic time. Treat these girls with respect, and always pay your dues. When the time comes to move on, do it gently but firmly.
Whatever you do, don't dump her for another girl who works at the same bar. This will cause real jealousy, and rage, and it might well lead to violence. If you start feeling any kind of emotional attachment, run like crazy!
It is just too risky, in my opinion, to consider anything other than a very short-term arrangement with a girl you meet in a bar.
I’m no fool; I know when a girl is being insincere with me. Isn’t the advice on this page just for less experienced men?
No, not at all, this advice is for everyone. If you only have experience of the ladies from your own country then you will almost certainly underestimate the ability of girls from a less fortunate background to lie convincingly.
Thai culture itself takes a less dim view of lying in certain circumstances e.g. where it is done to save-face or avoid conflict, so the aversion to lying that you get in Western culture is not felt so deeply in Thailand. Trust me when I tell you that simple little white lies are so commonplace in Thailand that you’ll start to wonder if you’ve ever been told the truth about anything.
Add to that the problem that your relationship might not be based purely on lies (she may well have some genuine feelings for you but at the same time she may have absolutely no intention whatsoever of being faithful to you) and you get a situation that is very difficult to read.
I stayed with a bar girl for 2 weeks and she never once asked me for any money, surely that proves that she is one of the good girls?
I’m not saying that she is not the genuine article, but something like this proves nothing about her true motives and it happens all the time. It is quite common for a bar girl to refrain from asking for cash, I’ve even heard of Pattaya girls that actually dig into their own pockets and help support their foreign boyfriends when they are short of cash.
None of this means that the girl involved is suitable for serious commitment. It may well mean that she has genuine affection for you, but don’t let that convince you that the girl is loyal and monogamous.
All my girl wants is to be with me in my country; we’ve spoken about getting a visa for her to come and stay with me and she can’t wait. How could this be a trick?
In some cases the whole point of getting close to a foreign boyfriend is so that she can get to your country. There is a common misconception that this is the secret desire of every Thai girl but that is nonsense; most Thai girls want to remain in Thailand, but there are some who want to get into the west.
It is a good sign if she wants to go with you to your country, but she could easily be lying about that. Even if she goes through with a visa application she can easily ruin it so as to get it declined.
It may even be a ploy to get you to marry her; a visa might not be possible if you are not married. I can tell you that lots of Pattaya bar girls would be more than happy to marry a customer for the financial support that it brings.
The girl I stayed with would have quit her job for me but she said that she didn’t have enough money for the bar release fee. I was suspicious, but the bar manager confirmed that there was a sizable fee that needed to be paid?
This is an instant red card offense; there is no such thing as a bar release fee. Thailand is a free country and the girls are free to come and go as they please. The ugly truth is that this whole release fee nonsense is a lie and, worse still, your lady is almost certainly in on that lie.
Whatever money you pay will be divided up between the bar manager and your girl!
Some people may tell you that, if she doesn’t pay the release fee, she won’t be able to work in a bar in the area again. Don’t believe that rubbish, the bars are all struggling these days to get as many girls as they want, so getting another job would be no problem whatsoever for her and she would almost certainly be able to return to the same bar if she wanted to.
You mentioned that online dating at your recommended sites is a better option for finding the good girls, but I know of someone that got scammed by a girl online. How safe is online dating?
Yes, it is a safer option but it is not completely safe as there are quite a few online tricksters. You even find that there are some Pattaya bar girls that go online to find potential boyfriends, so you can’t afford to just assume that everything you read online is the truth.
I’ve provided full details in my Thai Dating section about the best way to go about online dating. Of course, the best way of all is to come to Thailand for an extended visit somewhere away from the tourist areas. You’ll then meet girls in shopping malls and all sorts of places, and you can feel confident that the girls you meet will be the genuine article.
Sadly, this just isn’t an option for most guys because they have commitments back home, hence online dating is the best compromise.
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